Seireitei Serenade
by Lost to the Hoping
Summary: A series of drabbles and one-shots, centering on the anime/manga Bleach.
1. Sweet Day

**1) Sweet Day**

**Pairing/characters: IchigoxByakuya, Yuzu, Karin, mentions of others.**

**Description: It must have been the half-masked look in the noble's eyes that made him think of it. And of course, her words must have made him do it.**

**Warnings: Fluff, yaoi**

**Dedication: Nekosaiko on DA**

**Rating: T**

-

Ichigo had to admit he was a bit surprised when Byakuya showed up on his doorstep, claiming to be looking for Rukia. Not that he minded letting the older man wait. Rukia was at school and Ichigo had needed to stay home in order to take care of a sick Yuzu. It had been like pulling shark's teeth trying to get Isshin to go to work and Karin off to school, but with Rukia's help and his own assurances that he'd watch Yuzu like a hawk, he'd somehow managed.

So, he'd been alone in the quiet house, dozing off in Yuzu's chair sometime around one in the afternoon, when there was a knock on the front door. He didn't hear it at first and it took Yuzu attempting to answer it for him to hear the third knock.

"Ichi-nii..."

"I got it, Yuzu," he assured her. "Go back to sleep, okay?" He tucked her back in, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and left the room. He recognized the reiatsu, of course, but it didn't really register until he pulled the door open to see Kuchiki Byakuya standing on his doorstep.

"Um... Come in?" he asked.

Byakuya nodded and stepped inside, toeing his gigai's shoes off at the door. He wore a pair of form-fitting jeans and a dark blue t-shirt, and his hair was tied back. This all served to make Ichigo wonder why he managed to look good in _jeans_ of all things. Was it some sort of inherent grace? He had no clue.

Ichigo shifted once they were settled in the sitting room, a pot of untouched tea and two full teacups between them on the coffee table. "Um...So...Was there something you wanted?"

The noble nodded. "I wish to speak with Rukia," he answered, his voice its usual bored monotone.

Ichigo frowned. "She's at school."

Byakuya lifted a brow. "Oh? Then why do you remain in the house?" he asked.

"Yuzu's sick," Ichigo answered. "I had to stay home to watch her. I don't trust goat-face, and Karin needs to be in school. And it's not Rukia's problem, so I told her to tell them why I'm home." He shrugged and reached forward, taking a sip of his tea. "You're welcome to wait, if you want. I need to be upstairs with Yuzu, but Rukia'll be back around three-thirty, so it's only a couple of hours. Unless you're in a hurry?" He raised a brow, prompting the Kuchiki head to explain.

"I am not," Byakuya replied instead. "I will wait."

Ichigo shrugged again and set his tea cup down. "I need to go up with Yuzu. You're welcome to join me, I guess. Just be quiet if you do." His only reply was an inclined head.

He got to his feet and climbed the stairs, aware of Byakuya's near silent steps behind him. Yuzu stirred when he stepped into her room and looked at him. Her eyes shifted beyond him and she smiled slightly. Ichigo could have sworn he heard an intake of breath, but ignored it.

"Hey, Yu'. How ya feeling, sweetheart?" he asked, sitting in the chair beside her bed.

"I feel a little better, Ichi-nii. I'm sorry for making you stay home," she murmured, averting her gaze.

"Don't _even_ think that way," he scolded gently. "Just get some rest. Kami knows I don't mind staying home with you." He kissed her on the forehead once more and wrapped her blanket more fully around her. "Okay?"

She nodded. "Okay, Ichi-nii," she said before yawning. "Who's he?"

Ichigo glanced behind him to see that Byakuya was still standing at the door, watching them impassively. He'd also let down his hair at some point, though Ichigo had to admit he was glad the kenseiken were missing. Those things were weird. The teenager motioned to another chair in the corner and the man nodded, heading toward it.

"This is Rukia's older brother, Kuchiki Byakuya," he answered, jerking his head in the Kuchiki's direction. "Byakuya, this is my little sister Yuzu."

"Pleased to meet you," he said softly, pulling the chair up next to Ichigo and seating himself, back ramrod straight.

Yuzu smiled sleepily. "You," she was interrupted by a yawn, but continued through it, "look like a noble. I love your hair."

Byakuya inclined his head, absently plucking at a few of the raven strands. "Thank you, Yuzu-chan," he said.

Ichigo shook his head. "Yuzu, c'mon. Time to sleep, okay?"

She nodded. "Kuchiki-sama, will you be here when I wake up?"

Byakuya blinked, obviously taken off guard by the question. "I... suppose," he replied, then nodded with decisiveness. Well, nodded _nobly,_ which was really just a couple nods done slowly. Ichigo had to refrain from rolling his eyes. "I will, Yuzu-chan. You need to sleep."

She smiled again and closed her eyes, quickly slipping into slumber. Once her breathing evened out, Ichigo shot Byakuya a look. The Kuchiki shrugged in reply before staring at the wall in thought.

They settled in a comfortable silence, neither really wanting to break it. Finally, however, a couple hours later Byakuya turned his head back to Ichigo and lifted a brow.

"What?" Ichigo whispered, unwilling to wake his sister.

"Perhaps we could go downstairs and sit. I don't wish to wake Yuzu," he replied just as softly.

Ichigo nodded. "Yeah. 'Kay." He untangled his legs from where they were crossed on the chair and rose, wetting his lips. Halfway to the door, Byakuya's hand grabbed his elbow, stopping him. Ichigo turned, blinking in surprise, and for some reason, Rukia's words from a few days before surfaced in his mind.

_"'Nii-sama seems so lonely," she muttered, sighing. "I wish I could do something to help him."_

It must have been the half-masked look in the noble's eyes that made him think of it. And of course, her words must have made him do it. But before he really realized what he was doing, Ichigo leaned in and captured the noble's mouth with his. Byakuya's eyes widened for a moment and he went stock still. Wincing internally, Ichigo started to pull away, but Byakuya wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him back.

Byakuya's tongue had just slipped into Ichigo's mouth when the door flew open and Isshin barreled inside. "Not in front of my precious daughter!" he screeched.

Instantly, Ichigo was turning and blocking the blow from Isshin before flipping him onto the floor on his stomach and grinding his face into the carpet with his foot. "Idiot!" he hissed, missing the regretful sigh behind him. "If you wake Yuzu, I'll skin you alive!"

Isshin mumbled something that wasn't understandable due to his mouth being full of carpet threads. Rukia walked by the doorway, then backtracked, frowning. "'Nii-sama?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I was waiting for you to get home," Byakuya answered softly, glancing worriedly at Yuzu only to see she'd awoken and was watching Ichigo and her father's display worriedly. "Ichigo," he snapped, gaining the boy's attention. "Your sister."

Ichigo gave Isshin another kick and was then at his sisters side. "Go back to sleep, Yuzu," he whispered.

"Okay," she muttered. "Ichi-nii? Will you cuddle with me? I'm cold," she said.

He nodded and turned to the others with a glare. "Out. All of you. The only one that seems to know how to be quiet is Byakuya, so he can stay if he wants. But if anybody else steps foot in here, I'll skin you alive," he growled.

Rukia let out an 'eep' before darting out the door, dragging Isshin with her. Byakuya glanced at Ichigo, then nodded and sat in one of the now empty chairs. Yuzu reached out a hand and he blinked, looking unsure of what to do.

"Take it," Ichigo ordered as he climbed into the bed as his sister had asked.

Byakuya hesitantly took her hand in his and she smiled, closing her eyes and snuggling into Ichigo's chest. Once again, she fell asleep fairly quickly.

When Karin arrived home from school, she found Isshin cowering in a corner with an angry Rukia glaring at him. She sighed and headed up to her room, slipping inside silently and smiling at the scene before her. Both her brother and her sister were out on the bed and Rukia's older brother had dozed off in the chair, head in his arms on the edge of the bed. Yuzu's small hand was still clutched in his. With a soft chuckle, Karin discarded her backpack and lay down next to her sister.


	2. God Bless the Child

**2) God Bless the Child**

**Pairing/characters: AizenxGrimmjow, Gin, Ulquiorra, Tousen**

**Description: There were things that only a few knew of, such as why Aizen allowed Grimmjow to take his position back.**

**Warnings: Yaoi, bound-sex, spoilers for HM arc, language, etc.**

**Dedication: jiuge on DA: a tribute to her wonderful pic 'God Bless the Child'.**

**Rating: M**

-

Grimmjow had been suspicious of the reasons why Aizen had allowed him to retake his position as sexta Espada, but he hadn't questioned it. He didn't even think about it having a price. He was in power again and that was all he cared about. Thinking back on it, he really should have known better.

His world had become grueling, eternal torture since that night, when it all began.

_Aizen stepped into the doorway of Grimmjow's room and motioned for the female Arrancar with the sixth Espada to leave. She did so hurriedly, blushing at the rather embarrassing interruption. Once she was gone, Aizen closed the door behind him and leaned against the wall._

_"What you did was inexcusable," he stated with a slight smirk._

_Grimmjow's eyes widened as he went stiff in his half-reclined position on the large mattress. "What?" he demanded, sitting up._

_"However, I will excuse you, after you are punished," the Lord of Hueco Mundo continued, ignoring Grimmjow's question. He surreptitiously locked the door before turning and flicking the light off. "After all, everything here comes with a price, Grimmjow."_

_Grimmjow shifted on his bed, unable to tell where his lord was in the inky blackness. "What kind of price?" he asked cautiously._

_Aizen chuckled, sounding uncomfortably close on Grimmjow's left. "All you have to do is obey everything your lord says," was his cryptic answer._

_Grimmjow swallowed nervously as he felt Aizen's hand on his shoulder. "Wh-what do you want?" he asked, hating that his voice sounded so hoarse. _

_He let out a yelp when Aizen's tongue slid along the shell of his ear, leaping out of his bed and grabbing the doorknob, only to realize it was locked._

_"Grimmjow." Aizen's voice wafted sternly to where he stood, fumbling the doorknob. Grimmjow froze, waiting to hear Aizen's order despite his frantic wish to escape. "Return to your prior position."_

_The sixth Espada felt a lead weight form in his stomach, realizing with some measure of shock that it was __**fear**__ that he was feeling. He was by no means an idiot. Bloodthirsty, maybe. Cruel, definitely. But not an idiot. He knew just what it was that Aizen planned for his 'punishment', and he didn't like the idea one bit. So, rather than obey, he stood stock-still, telling himself that he wasn't frozen in fear, but trying to think of the best way out of this._

_Aizen sighed. "Don't make me angry, Grimmjow," he said, his reiatsu rising just enough to make Grimmjow unsteady on his feet._

_"Why?" Grimmjow choked out, firmly chanting in his mind that he __**would**__ find a way out of this. Somehow._

_The King of Hueco Mundo chuckled. "Because you deserve to be punished, and I can think of no better way to do so," he replied, amusement coloring his voice._

_"I can," Grimmjow muttered under his breath, the words slipping out before he could stop them._

_Aizen's reiatsu increased, nearly sending the blue-haired Arrancar to his knees. "Oh, no. I want you to regret taking without permission, Grimmjow. I want you to obey my every command without this stubborn streak of yours. I am going to enjoy breaking you."_

_Grimmjow gulped. "I..." What? He what? What would he do about it? What could he say? _

_There was nothing. Absolutely nothing to say or do that would persuade Aizen to leave him be. He was trapped with no solution or escape route. He was by no means as lucky as Kurosaki Ichigo always seemed to be. And he didn't have Aizen's favor the way Kurosaki seemed to have, either. Closing his eyes and distantly noting that the darkness was complete even with them open, he let his shoulders slump and waited for his 'lord' to pounce._

_Aizen seemed to sense his surrender and chuckled. "Very good. Now, return to your prior position," he ordered._

_With a nervous swallow, Grimmjow turned and obeyed, sitting back down on the bed only to find that Aizen had seated himself sometime during their dialogue. He went rigid as the former Shinigami captain pushed him back on the bed before leaning over him, his tongue once again trailing along Grimmjow's ear._

_The sixth Espada could feel his heart slamming against his ribcage as he heard cloth rub against cloth. He soon realized what it was when Aizen grabbed his arms and tied them together with his obi, then tied that to the bedpost. There was no turning back and now Grimmjow was utterly and completely trapped._

_Grimmjow closed his eyes again, trying to think of a way out of this. Something trickled down his cheek and his eyes seemed to be burning, for some reason or another. Sweat, probably. It _did_ seem unnaturally hot all of a sudden._

_Before Grimmjow's thoughts could get far, however, Aizen had begun to remove the Espada's clothes, making quick work of the process and toying with him the entire time. Somehow, being undressed while Aizen himself was dressed made it all the worse. He felt almost vulnerable without his clothing on in front of the stronger man, and the emotion made his stomach churn. Oh, how Grimmjow hated this bastard._

_Grimmjow's thoughts stuttered to a stop and nearly failed to start again when Aizen suddenly gripped his length. The traitorous piece of him actually __**jerked**__ in response. Grimmjow felt his face heat in shame, wanting to cry in agony, but refusing to give Aizen such a satisfaction._

_He was unable to continue his thought processes, a thinly veiled attempt at ignoring the situation, when Aizen started to stroke him, fingers kneading and brushing against his flesh in all the right places. Once again, something trickled down his cheek, even as he moaned, unable to keep from lifting his hips just the slightest bit. Not even Aizen's resulting chuckle managed to pull him from the bliss such a sinful touch created._

_"Not so bad, hm?" Aizen practically __**purred**__ in his ear. Grimmjow could only gasp as Aizen's mouth wrapped around his hard, painfully hard, member, tongue flicking expertly over his aching tip._

_Grimmjow was just starting to reach his climax when Aizen pulled away, tongue trailing up the side of Grimmjow's face. "Salt," he murmured in Grimmjow's ear, then chuckled cruelly. "How interesting. You moan and rise to my touch, yet you cry. I didn't know you had such an ability, Grimmjow," he whispered darkly._

_Grimmjow would have replied with a scathing remark if Aizen hadn't resumed his previous activities at just that moment. __**Damn**__, the bastard was good at this._

_He soon climaxed, then slackened, spent and exhausted._ _Cry? He'd cried? The shame was way too much. He was so deep in his own hole of despair that he barely noticed when Aizen rose and exited. He left the Espada still tied to the bed post._

Grimmjow didn't even turn from where he stood at the window when the door opened. He didn't tense when Aizen stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, almost lovingly, though the Espada knew better. This was all an amusing game to the bastard, and he was forced to play along.

"What are you thinking about, Grimmjow?" Aizen inquired softly, tongue running along the tendon in his Espada's neck.

"Nothin'," was his equally soft reply. He resisted the urge to lean out of his lord's touch and stood stock-still where he was.

Before anything else could happen, however, a familiar voice rang through the room.

"Sousuke-kun!" Gin called, stepping into the room. "We've got ourselves some toys tha' wan' in on the wonders of our home!" he said cheerily.

Grimmjow debated on whether he should retch at the former shinigami's act, or thank his lucky stars that someone had decided to invade.

Aizen stepped away, thankfully. "Really now? They must be searching for Orihime-chan, then."

"They are Kurosaki Ichigo, Ishida Uryuu, and Sado Yasutora," Ulquiorra announced, stepping in to stand beside Gin. Tousen stayed in the doorway, a knowing expression in sightless eyes.

"Well, gather the Espada in the meeting room and we will plan our welcoming party, in that case," Aizen murmured thoughtfully, dismissing them.

Grimmjow started to wonder if Aizen would fuck him again anyway, but didn't ask just in case he'd forgotten. Not that Grimmjow expected he had.

Aizen must have caught some expression in his eyes, because he smirked and started toward the door. "Not tonight, apparently. Come, Grimmjow, we have a meeting to get to."

Grimmjow sighed, silently thankful for the short reprieve. He owed Kurosaki one, that was for sure.

-

**A/n: Yes. I shall die. I am terrible. Thank you to the lovely Dracoqueen22 for her help and tips, and maybe some day I'll be better at writing yaoi. Honestly, you'd think a gay chick would be able to do this BS. -pouts- The world is so cruel!!! -dies- This is a tribute, as I've stated, to the wonderful jiuge's sexy pic **_**God Bless the Child**_**, which, yes, is a GrimmAi pic. However, my writing ability could never **_**hope**_** to compare to her drawing ability. Give 'er kudos, people! You can find her at: jiuge dot deviantart dot com Replace the 'dot' with '.' and take out the spaces! XD Check out her artwork, it's lovely! Also, if you haven't read any of Dracoqueen22's stuff, you can find her on MM, FFN and numerous other sites -doesn't know them all- Thanks!!!**


	3. Achin' fer a Threesome

**3) Achin' fer a Threesome**

**Pairing/characters: YoruichixUrahara, Ichigo, Renji, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Hitsugaya, Matsumoto, numerous others**

**Description: Fur will fly. But Yoruichi and Urahara don't care, as long as they get a threesome. Request.**

**Warnings: Hentai, language, spoilers for SS arc, some crack.... okay, a lot.**

**Rating: T**

**Authoress' Note: I honestly don't remember who requested this, so if it was you, lemme know. That way I can put that down....**

-

"Oh, Yoru-chan!" Urahara hummed, waving his fan idly. "We never have any _group_ fun," he stated with a pout, peering out at her from the gap between his fan and the brim of his hat.

Yoruichi looked up from where she was cleaning her paw. "What kind of group fun?" she asked, eyes gleaming mischievously.

"Oh, you know!" he whined. "With people!" He snapped his fan shut and leaned forward, unconsciously shoving his hat up a bit. "I want a threesome," he announced.

A second later, the fully human, fully naked form Yoruichi lay on the table, grinning at him. "Kisuke, I think that's a splendid idea!"

As if on cue, Hitsugaya Toushirou walked in at that moment. He was going through some papers in his hands, obviously distracted. "Where's Ikkaku?" he asked, stopping but continuing to read through the papers.

"Why?" Urahara asked, tilting his head.

Yoruichi recognized the gleam in his eye and grinned.

The prodigy looked up. "He hasn't turned in his re... port..." He frowned, just now noticing Yoruichi's lack of garments. "I see I'm interrupting," he stated. "I'll go look for him elsewhere." He turned on his heel and started for the door.

"Oh, wait!" Yoruichi cried, hopping off the table and draping herself over the boy captain's shoulders. "You're not interrupting at all! Come, come! We want to show you something!" She tugged him backwards as she attempted to get him to the table.

"We can show such a wonderful, naive young mind the joys of a threesome!" Urahara added.

Hitsugaya scowled, shunpo'ing out of Yoruichi's grip and to the back door, calling over his shoulder, "No!" before disappearing outside.

Urahara pouted. "Who's next?"

Yoruichi pondered for a moment. "Ichigo could be fun," she suggested. "We could show him the same, plus we'd get to devirginize him!"

Urahara tilted his head consideringly. "I dunno... He's my teishi, Yoru-chan. Isn't that perverted?"

She gave him a blank look. "You're already a pervert," she pointed out.

"Oh, that's true," he agreed. "To the Kurosaki clinic!"

Yoruichi dressed quickly and they left.

-

"No. Go away," Ichigo stated before Yoruichi could even open her mouth to ask him.

"Aw, c'mon! You don't even know what I was gonna say!" she protested, watching as he filled out a strang-looking hospital form.

He shot her a glare. "I don't need to know. Whenever you and the geta-boushi show up _any_where together, it's a bad sign. Now beat it." He filed the form in a folder labeled 'disjointed limbs' under somebody named Urameshi.

She pouted and glanced at her partner in hentai. He could only concede the boy's point, shrugging. She straightened and glared at Ichigo. "I don't care!" she proclaimed, causing the strawberry boy to look up apprehensively. "I wanna three-some!"

Unfortunately, both Yuzu and Isshin walked in as she said that and Isshin gaped. "No! Ichigo, say it isn't _true_!" he screamed, covering Yuzu's ears. "Not with that... with that... _Thing_!"

Yoruichi deflated, then scowled at Isshin. "Who're _you_ calling a 'thing'?" Threats weren't needed with that glare.

He tossed his head unnaturally for a moment, until Yoruichi realized he was trying to motion toward Urahara. "He's not a _thing_!" she protested, glare increasing. "Keisuke is a very respectable man! He's honorable," there was a cough at this, "honest," two more, "kind," Yuzu shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to point out the dishonesty of Yoruichi's argument, "and loving!"

Karin coughed out a 'bullshit' cough as she passed through the room, ignoring the withering glare Yoruichi sent after her.

Ichigo sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Go bug Renji. I'm sure _he'll_ be interested."

Urahara grinned as the idea took hold. "And _he_ lives with us!" he said victoriously. "We don't have to stop at just once!"

-

"But I _live _with you!" Renji protested when the idea was presented to him later that afternoon. "That would just be so... _weird_! Not to mention it's with... with _him_! No way I'm bangin' anyone in the same room as Urahara-san!" He shuddered at just the thought of such a repulsive idea.

Yoruichi pouted at his firm refusal. "But it would be fun!"

He shook his head, red strands sparkling in the afternoon sun. "Go talk to Ikkaku. I heard he's into that shit," he grumbled. "I gotta make a report ta taichou."

When they finally found Ikkaku, he was sitting on the roof of Keigo's, wooden sword slung over one shoulder, arguing with Yumichika.

"You're fuckin' nuts," Ikkaku accused his best friend as they approached.

Yumichika shook his head. "No, no. I'm telling you, Shirou-taichou said they were going around, asking people to screw around with them!"

"Why would-" It was then that he caught sight of the approaching duo, and his eyes widened. "I take it back, I think Hitsugaya-taichou might've had something; here they come."

"Maa, Ikka-chan, Yumi-kun!" Urahara greeted, smiling. "How are you two today!"

"No," Yumichika sniffed before either could offer. "You've traumatized poor Shirou-taichou, and he's hidden himself in Orihime's closet- it _was_ the closet, right Ikkaku?" When Ikkaku nodded, he continued. "I will _not_ tolerate such behavior!"

Yoruichi pouted. "Geez, you sound like my mother," she grumbled. "Better go apologize to Shirou-kun, huh Keisuke?" Urahara nodded, also pouting. It didn't look like they'd get their three-some today afterall.

-

"We just wanted to apologize to him!" Yoruichi snapped, putting her foot in the way as Matsumoto tried to close it.

The strawberry blonde paused, watching them suspiciously. But when she seemed to be sincere, Matsumoto held open the door wordlessly and followed them into the living room where Hitsugaya and Orihime were playing a game of Go. Hitsugaya looked up as they entered and scowled.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded irritably.

"Apologizing," Urahara answered, looking - for all intents and purposes - contrite.

Hitsugaya made his move, then crossed his arms and waited for them to do so.

"Sorry," they chorused. "We didn't mean to scare you," Yoruichi added.

He frowned. "I wasn't scared," he denied stoutly.

"Yes you were," argued Urahara.

"Was not!" Hitsugaya snapped.

"What was this about a threesome?" Matsumoto interrupted, ushering the two toward the door before the argument could escalate.

Yoruichi considered trying to gain her to their cause, and by the look in Keisuke's eyes, so was he. "Well, you see..."

-

**Hope you liked it! R & R! I take requests, so feel free to drop by and gimme one!**


	4. Too Cute

**Title: Too Cute**

**Pairing/Characters: KenpachixIshida (hinted), Yumichika**

**Description: It was just too cute.**

**Warnings: Hinted yaoi, spoilers for SS arc (if you look really hard)**

**Dedication: No one, really... It just popped up into my head, so...**

**Rating: K+**

-

"Aw, it's cute!"

"Shut up."

"But taicho, it is!" Yumichika insisted.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" Kenpachi growled, glaring at his fifth seat.

"But it's cute!" the smaller man protested, laughing.

Zaraki Kenpachi did _not_ think it was cute. In fact, there was nothing _cute_ about it. Not at all. Nuh uh. No way... Dammit. "Before I squash you," the elevanth division captain added, just for good measure.

Yumichika laughed and shook his head. "It's very cute, taicho. You should just accept it."

Kenpachi was _not_ going to 'accept' it. "Che. Fuckin' Quincy." He glared at his reflection, and subsequently, the large Quincy design on the back of his haori. He repeated. It was _not_ cute.

-

**Lol. I just wanted to write a Kenpachi drabble, soo... XD Hope you liked!**


	5. Outfitting

**5) Outfitting**

**Pairing/characters: IchigoxUrahara, Yoruichi, Rukia, Yumichika, Ishida  
Description: Ichigo realizes that it was a bad idea to ask for Yumichika's advise in fashion. Request from ElemenTalia.**

**Warnings: Crack, Ichigo-centric, spoilers (maybe)**

**Rating: T**

**Authoress' Note: ElemenTalia requested an IchiHara, and here it is. I hope you like it, hun!**

-

Ichigo stared at himself in the mirror, wondering idly if he was having some sort of dream. Except it wouldn't be a dream, really, but a nightmare.

He was wearing pink. And it looked good on him.

Now normally, pink would clash horribly with his hair, but no. Not this time. Because -- according to Yumichika -- black made everything much better. Now, before Ichigo got himself too confused, he decided to try and remember how all of this started. He believed it began with a date.

With Urahara.

Or, rather, it began while Ichigo was trying to find something to _wear_ for said date. And really, _that_ had all started with Yoruichi and Rukia, who had both - simultaneously and rather eerily - decided that their best friends needed to go on a date. Together. But Ichigo, in a rather confusing turn of events that he still wasn't sure how it happened, refused to go on a date with the geta-boshi unless he was dressed respectably. See? Ichigo was still confused on how they managed to get him to agree to that.

So really, it started there. It was a very scary day indeed, and Ichigo believed it had even been raining.

"Ichigo?" Rukia asked, batting her eye-lashes at him. At the same time, Yoruichi was on the other side of the shoten tea room, talking to Urahara about something. It looked like she was winning.

Ichigo scowled at Rukia, wondering what the hell she was up to. Because it couldn't have been nothing, since Rukia was always up to _some_thing, and her being up to nothing at all was simply an impossibility. So, obviously, Ichigo came to the conclusion that she was up to something. He really didn't want to know what, especially with the look that she was giving him.

"What?" he demanded finally, when her lip started to tremble.

She beamed. "You look very lonely, Ichigo," she stated.

He frowned at her. Was she trying to come onto him? He hoped not, because he wasn't interested. "What gives you that idea?" he demanded, already annoyed.

"You just do," she answered cryptically.

He should have known what she was up to right then, when she glanced over at Yoruichi and Urahara, who were now both watching them, the geta-boshi looking almost speculative. However, he didn't know. Woe on him. Instead, he just snorted and went back to his manga, ignoring her.

"Ichigo," she said, that pleading note back in her voice.

Ichigo looked up at her, only to see that sometime in the past half a second, Yoruichi had joined her, and they were both staring down at him. He shuddered. "What?" What _was_ this crazy bitch up to?

"I could make it so that you're not lonely anymore," Rukia offered, smiling sweetly down at him.

Ichigo started to have the niggling feeling of unease as they both stared at him. He refrained from shuddering and put down his manga, deciding he'd see what Yusuke was going to say to his opponent later. "What do you want, Rukia? Just spit it out already," he snapped, not amused in the least. He lifted his still-steaming tea cup.

She beamed, adopting that scary, saccharine sweet tone she used when she was pretending to be a nice girl. "Oh, Ichigo! Yoruichi-san and I have decided that you're going on a date with Urahara-san!"

And it had all gone downhill from there.

Ichigo, who had been in the middle of taking a sip of the tea, promptly choked and started coughing in an attempt to get the hot liquid out of his wind-pipes, his eyes tearing up with the effort. He put the cup down on the table and pounded his chest to get his lungs working again. Then, he glared at Rukia. "What the hell are you talking about, you crazy bitch?" he demanded, scowling mightily.

He could have sworn he heard Urahara snicker.

"Well," Rukia said, slowly, as if she were speaking to a slow child. "Poor Urahara-san hasn't had a date in a while-"

"That's because he's crazy!" Ichigo protested.

She went on as if he hadn't said a thing, going so far as to talk over him. "-and Yoruichi-san says he's oh-so lonely! And we really just can't have that, especially when you're lonely too, and you don't even live that far away! You would make such a wonderful couple!"

Ichigo could only stare at her incredulously, words officially lost to him. That's when Yoruichi spoke up.

"And you really need to get laid, anyway," she stated bluntly.

Ichigo's face must have been red, because he suddenly felt as if he had a fever, and his gaze turned to the creepy cat-lady. "Are you _nuts_?" he demanded.

Yoruichi nodded. "But that's not the issue here, Ichigo. It's for your own good, you know," she insisted.

"You're both fuckin' crazy," he stated, gaping at them.

Yoruichi pondered, and Rukia looked crestfallen. Suddenly, Yoruichi cried out triumphantly and dragged Rukia away with her. They returned a moment later with a small shoe-box. Yoruichi opened it and dug through it before pulling out a picture and holding it out for him to take. He did.

Ichigo turned the picture over, and then to the left. But he couldn't figure it out. "Who the hell is that?" he demanded, scowling up at the two.

"Kisuke," Yoruichi answered.

He looked down at the picture. Ah, now he saw it. Though, to be honest, he hadn't known that the geta-boshi could _be_ that hot. The man looked really fucking good in a tux. That was, if he was all cleaned up, without a beard and missing that damn, ridiculous hat.

"So," Yoruichi said finally, her tone questioning. "Would you be satisfied if he was cleaned up?" she asked.

"Hey!" Urahara spoke up, offended. "I'm very handsome as I am!" he protested, touching his hat and waving that ridiculous fan of his.

Ichigo looked up at the geta-boshi, and then back down at the picture, and then back up at the blond. And then at the picture again. Well... He really couldn't believe he was considering this, but... If he went, and the geta-boshi was cleaned up, then he'd not only get those two off his back, but he wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen in public with the man.

Ichigo sighed. "Fine."

Both Yoruichi and Rukia cheered.

And so, the two partners-in-crime had arranged for the date to be that Friday, and when that Friday actually came along, Ichigo had nothing to wear. Except an old tux of his father's, which was obviously out of the question. Not only was it too big, but it was his _father's_, for crying out loud. He'd have to be as crazy as Urahara to even consider it. And he wasn't as crazy as Urahara.

But nonetheless, despite his musings, he still had nothing to wear, especially since Rukia and Yoruichi were planning on having the geta-boshi cleaned up. He couldn't go looking like, well, like a kid, since Urahara was going to look so much better than him if he did. That in itself would be rather embarrassing.

Suddenly, Ichigo's thoughts were interrupted when the door flew open, admitting Rukia, Ishida and Yumichika. He gaped at the procession as the three carried various things into his room, setting them down on the floor, bed and desk. There was a sewing machine - compact and portable - and a bag of cloth. There were several needle cases, of all different sizes, and thread in numerous colors. Yumichika brought in an entire sink, to which Ichigo's eyes widened to the size of saucers. There were scissors, hair dyes, and even some water - obviously for the sink and whatever the fluttery fifth seat planned to do with it.

"What the hell?" Ichigo demanded, a little breathless from it all.

The trio looked up from where they'd been arranging the items just so. Rukia grinned, having seated herself on the self in the closet to watch, leaving the door open. "Well, I noticed this morning that the only thing you have presentable is Isshin's old tux, and that's just out of the question. So, we're going to help you! I convinced Ishida to do the clothes, and Yumichika to help with the appearance."

"What's wrong with my appearance?!" the strawberry boy demanded, a small tic beginning over his left eye.

"Well," Yumichika explained, smiling sweetly. "You're simply not beautiful enough!"

Ichigo gaped at him. "What if I don't wanna be 'beautiful'?!" he snapped at the other man.

Yumichika shrugged. "I have a job to do, and you will be beautiful, despite your concerns," he replied, something unnameable twinkling in his eyes.

It was enough to make Ichigo pause. "What do you plan on doing?" he asked suspiciously.

And here he stood, staring at his reflection, idly tugging at a strand of black hair. Yes, they'd died his hair black. Apparently, the pink yukata - borrowed and accommodated from Byakuya, according to Yumichika, though he doubted the hime would see it again if Yumichika had his way - didn't really go with his natural hair color, so they'd fixed the problem.

Ichigo also noticed, quite to Rukia's amusement and his own annoyance, that the obi was decorated with tiny Quincy symbols, typical of Ishida. Damn sew-happy bastard. The soft rubber geta they'd given him were fine, though they made him worry that the geta-boshi still had his own wooden clogs. The thought made Ichigo shudder as an image of Urahara in a green yukata with that damn hat and those geta came to mind. He sincerely hoped that wasn't the case.

-

**And you can determine for yourself how the date actually went. Lol. R&R! I hope you liked!**


	6. Oops

**6) Oops**

**Pairing/characters: IchigoxByakuya, mentions of others**

**Description: He never would have pegged the noble as the 'groping' sort. Random idea**

**Warnings: Spoilers**

**Dedication: To Azar-sama, who is a wonderfully funny writer.**

**Rating: T**

-

The first time it happened, Ichigo was certain that it was an accident, and the second time it became a coincidence, but the third... Well, Ichigo blushed since there was no way it was either a coincidence or an accident. He whirled around with the intention of demanding what Byakuya thought he was doing, only to see that the noble was nowhere in sight. Ichigo's brow furrowed in confusion, before his attention was taken by Yachiru, who had rounded the corner and promptly tackled him. And then he ran, because wherever Yachiru was, Kenpachi was bound to be somewhere nearby.

After ditching both Yachiru and her father, for lack of a better word, Ichigo made his way to the sixth division. He walked into the outer office and demanded to know where Byakuya was.

"How the hell'm I supposed to know?" Renji demanded, irritated. He dipped his quill in the inkwell on the corner of his desk and began to rant. "He comes in here this morning, _informs_ me that he has more important things to do, and tells me that I'm gonna do all the paperwork by myself and that I'd better have it finished by the time he comes back."

"And did he say when he was coming back?" Ichigo asked through gritted teeth, determined to get to the bottom of this.

Renji shrugged. "Not in so many words. I think he said something about 'returning by sundown at the latest'." Renji shook his head. "Yer welcome to wait, if ya don't make too much noise."

Ichigo nodded and sat in a chair off to the side, awaiting Byakuya's return. At some point, he must have dozed off, because he was jolted awake when something grabbed his thigh. He was relieved to see that Byakuya was nowhere in sight, and was about to settle back down, when he caught sight of Renji. The vice captain was staring at Ichigo in abject horror, his eyes wide and a 'your shitting me' look on his face.

Ichigo felt something akin to dread stir in his stomach. "I wasn't dreaming, was I?" he asked, pretending that his voice hadn't been this side of a squeak. Renji shook his head dumbly, swearing when he realized that the quill had, at some point, dropped from his fingers and made a mess on the paper he was working on. Ichigo gulped and looked around the outer office, only to see that Byakuya's office door had been slid shut. It hadn't been earlier, since the noble wasn't presen thent.

The strawberry boy got to his feet, stomped to the door, yanked it open, and stepped inside. Byakuya looked up, raising a brow as the door was slammed shut once more. "Was there something you wanted?" he asked calmly, his face perfectly composed and showing no emotion what-so-ever.

"Yes!" Ichigo snapped, walking over and leaning over the desk threateningly. "Would you tell me what the hell you think you're doing, Byakuya? Now?"

Byakuya sighed. "So impatient," he muttered.

"I heard that!" Ichigo retorted, blushing as he realized just how close their faces had become. He watched in shock as Byakuya reached up and clasped his chin, before pulling him forward and into a kiss. And really, Ichigo wasn't sure what to think, so he didn't bother trying. After all, Byakuya was rather pretty, almost like a girl. So he kissed him back, deciding that, though he hadn't pegged the noble as the 'groping sort', he could've done worse.

-

**I hope you liked it! R&R**


	7. Eloquent

**7) Eloquent**

**Pairing/characters: YoruichixSoifon**

**Description: Come Hell or high water, she'd find her again.**

**Warning: Slight spoilers for SS arc, and Yoru/Soi history**

**Dedication: Yukilefay on DA, for the request.**

**Rating: T (for light lime)**

-

Soifon slammed the report down, crumpling it in her fists. Just another failure, saying how there was still no sign of her. It was getting ridiculous, how she seemed to always elude them.

"Dammit..." Soifon growled, causing her already freaked out unseat to take a step back.

"S-Soifon-sama?" he asked, most likely worried for his health.

"_WELL_?!" she shouted, looking up at him. "_GET BACK TO __**WORK**_!!"

He stumbled backwards and then fled from her room, knowing better than to linger. She slumped tiredly into her chair, cradling her aching head in one hand as she reread the report with the other. After the first few lines, the words all became jumbled and blurred, and for a moment, Soifon couldn't understand why. Then a tear fell onto the paper, and she dropped it in surprise. Quickly, she rose and went into the bathroom connected to her office and washed her face.

Soifon looked up at her reflection, relieved to find that the tears had been stopped before they affected her appearance. She could never be caught crying. She'd never cry. Instead, she'd find Yoruichi-sama, and she'd kill her.

-

Years and years later, after having given up the search, Soifon found herself crying at Yoruichi-sama's feet, spilling her heart out to her former teacher. When they had to team up again it was just like old times, and Soifon was glad. She could almost smile again.

And then Yoruichi-sama was gone, only days later, leaving behind a promise to see Soifon again. She didn't break it, and during the incident with the Bounto, she was happy again. She reveled in the comrade-ship she shared with Yoruichi, and when Yoruichi-sama left again, she didn't really expect to see her for a while.

Soifon was glad to be wrong.

-

Soifon was brushing her hair out when there was a _tap, tap, tap_ on her window. She got up, confused, and opened it, looking out. There was no one in sight, but the breeze was rather refreshing, and she closed her eyes to enjoy it for a moment. When she opened them again, she simply stared dumbly at the sight before her. Yoruichi-sama's head was floating, upside-down, in front of her, inches away. No, upon closer inspection, it appeared that the cat woman was hanging off of the roof. She was grinning.

"How are you doing, Bumble-chan?" the Shihoin asked, flipping inside the second-story room.

Soifon turned and watched as Yoruichi - completely naked, the second division captain noted - stretched out leisurely on Soifon's bed. She blinked, her brain still catching up with all of this. "Um..."

Yoruichi-sama snorted. "As eloquent as usual, I see," she stated with a smirk.

Soifon felt a blush rise on her cheeks, much to her dismay. "I'm! I'm quite eloquent!" she protested, annoyed with her rather lame response, but unable to really do anything about it now that it had been said.

"Oh?" the Shihoin stretched out even more, giving her boobs a subtle bounce. "What's Byakuya-bo's favorite phrase?"

"Um..."

"Thought so." Yoruichi laughed and patted the bed beside her. "C'mon, sit with me."

Soifon's blush deepened at being proven wrong, but she obeyed her former teacher's request.

"You're way too stiff, Bumble-chan," Yoruichi pointed out, poking Soifon's shoulder. She sat up. "Turn around."

Soifon hesitated, but obeyed. She was about to deny being 'stiff' when Yoruichi-sama started rubbing her shoulders. She completely melted, forgetting that she'd even been about to say a thing. At Yoruichi-sama's urging, she pulled her shirt off and laid on her stomach, closing her eyes at the heavenly back rub. She was almost asleep when Yoruichi leaned down and kissed her shoulder blade. It was way too innocent to mean anything, but even so, Soifon was jolted fully away, another blush stealing across her cheeks.

Yoruichi paused. "Is something wrong, Bumble-chan?" she asked, having felt her jump. "I'm sorry."

Soifon shook her head, not showing her face for fear that the Shihoin would see her blush. "No, it's fine," she muttered, staring at the covers in front of her eyes.

There was a moment's silence before Yoruichi-sama continued her ministrations, speaking softly, her very voice alluring. "So... it's fine, huh?" she asked, her tone lower than normal.

Soifon swallowed. Uh-oh.

"So..." Yoruichi kissed Soifon's neck, though her hands themselves didn't pause. "Is that fine, too?" She didn't let Soifon answer, and moved her mouth down to right between her shoulder blades, kissing lightly. "And that?"

Soifon nodded, not trusting herself to speak, even as her mentor chuckled. "Look at me, Bumble-chan," Yoruichi purred, sounding really like a cat in that moment. This made sense, given the other form she chose to take.

Soifon turned her head, and part of her body, in order to look at the Shihoin, and her eyes widened when Yoruichi's mouth touched her own. She completely froze, her thought processes stumbling and falling off their tracks, her heart thudding in her chest, and her breathing halting all together. And then Yoruichi-sama was pulling away, frowning in disappointment. "Did I scare you, Bumble-chan?" she asked. "I was only teasing you, honest."

Soifon turned over completely, able to think again, and sat up. "No... It's... fine," she breathed. "I..."

_"As eloquent as usual, I see."_

Soifon shook the memory away, deciding Yoruichi-sama had probably been right, and kissed her mentor again, not caring if she'd really only been teasing or not. Yoruichi smiled through the kiss, and kissed her back.

-

**I hope you like it, Yuki-sama! R&R!**


	8. Goodbye my Almost Lover

**12) Goodbye my Almost Lover**

**Pairing/characters: Aizen/Hinamori (one-sided), Unohana, Gin**

**Description: She imagines his hand is in her hair. She imagines sadness in his eyes.**

**Warning: Psycho!Momo, spoilers for SS arc**

**Dedication: Erm. No one. I was just given inspiration for this after listening to 'Almost Lover'.**

**Rating: T (for psychological problems that kids should probably not read about, no matter how mild)**

-

Momo stared at the floor beneath her feet. For a moment she saw blood there but then that was gone, replaced by her tears. If her Aizen taicho was here, she imagined his hand would be threading through her hair as he apologized for letting that awful Ichimaru convince him to leave. She imagined that there would be a sweet sadness in his eyes even as he held her in his arms.

He would kiss her forehead and tell her that everything was alright. He wouldn't ever leave her again and that awful Ichimaru was dead and gone. Momo let out another sob even as reality slammed down on her with the opening of her door.

Unohana taicho stepped inside and she went to Momo, telling her it was alright. Momo didn't believe her even as the doctor injected her with tranquilizer. As darkness came, Momo saw him standing above her, smiling down. And right beside him was Ichimaru, grinning.

"He's mine, Hina-chan."

She screamed.

-

**Er... It's rather... creepy, and don't think I like Momo, because I don't, but I occasionally like to write psycho people. XD R&R!**


	9. Eyes

**9) Eyes**

**Pairing/characters: UlquiorraxOrihime**

**Description: She was annoying, sure. And she was in love with an annoying brat, okay. But they shared the same eyes.**

**Warning: Spoilers for SS and HM arc, angst**

**Dedication: CrimonDucky because s/he requested it.**

**Rating: T**

-

It was her eyes that caught his attention. When she spoke of the Kurosaki brat, her eyes were so sad. They practically screamed "notice me, hear me, see me" and he couldn't help but notice her. He couldn't help but listen to her and he most definitely saw her.

Even when she cried herself to sleep at night, calling for her beloved to rescue her, he was there. Watching. Listening.

And when the Kurosaki brat showed up, Ulquiorra wanted to pummel him. He wanted to kill him and make her stay but that wasn't what Aizen-sama wanted and he always did what Aizen-sama wanted.

So he watched her leave, happily following the boy that would never love her back to their home. Again, he was hit with the urge to beat that brat to a bloody pulp and leave Grimmjow the remains in a neat, tiny little box with a tag saying 'happy eating' or some other such nonsense.

Instead, he just turned around and didn't look back. He went back to his duties. There were things he needed to do, things that he couldn't ignore. Starting with cleaning her room.

-

**I know that it's really short. I wanted to do this other part of it, but it was just too perfect as is. R&R, and maybe I'll make a sequal. XD**


	10. A Special Report Menace to Society

**10) Special Report: A Menace to Society**

**Pairing/characters: Kenpachi, Yachiru, Ikkaku, Ukitake, Shunsui, several others**

**Description: She lurks. She prowles. She's the menace of Seireitei.**

**Warning: Faint spoilers for SS and HM arc, lotsa crack, Momo-bashing**

**Dedication: ... Draco-sama, since I know how much she reeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy hates Momo. And Azar-sama, since she came up with Darth Yachiru.**

**Rating: T (for violence)**

-

The first thing Kenpachi was ever greeted with upon waking was his ward. Her face always filled his vision when he opened his eyes - mostly because she was the one that woke him to begin with - but there were times, few and far between but there nonetheless, that his vice captain was nowhere in sight. This morning was one such time and Kenpachi felt a shudder of dread when he saw that it was Ikkaku waking him instead of her.

"We have a problem," his third seat stated, scowling. To attest to this fact, there was a dotted line of teeth marks around the top of his head, almost as if someone were planning to cut him open.

Kenpachi groaned. "What now?" he asked, frowning faintly.

"She had too much sugar last night," Ikkaku answered.

Not really what he wanted to hear so early in the morning before he was even able to do up his hair. Kenpachi covered his face with his hand. "We'd better find 'er then, before she causes _too_ much trouble."

Ikkaku nodded. "Yes. We can start with Yumi and work outwards from there."

Yumichika was still asleep when they went to ask him so neither bothered to wake the fifth seat. And no, Kenpachi was not scared of the outcome. Not one bit. Well, maybe a little but who wouldn't be? Yumichika had a habit of getting violent when you interrupted his 'beauty sleep.' Che, bastard.

No one else in the division had seen their lieutenant, though several were in varied states of unconsciousness. Yachiru's handiwork no doubt. One man even had another man's foot shoved up his ass. Hanartaro was slowly extracting said foot but he hadn't seen the little ball of pink that morning.

So they headed to her second favorite place in Seireitei. The sixth division was in chaos, Abarai-fukutaicho having been rendered unconscious and dressed in one of Kuchiki-hime's yukata. A pink yukata to be more specific. What the hell was Kuchiki-hime doing with a pink yukata in the first place?

Byakuya was downright furious and threatened to activate that paper-shredding act of his on Kenpachi if he didn't control his second seat. Ikkaku had to drag his captain away from that particular confrontation, knowing they had to find Yachiru before she was able to get them in too much trouble. Kenpachi's fight could wait.

In the fifth division Hinamori had been tied up by her ankles with several colorful drawings all over her and the word 'sucker' on her forehead. Kenpachi snickered and Ikkaku groaned. Izuru was busily trying to take the other vice captain down with little success, as Momo bawled and cried for her 'Aizen-taicho'. Kenpachi was tempted to tell her that the man was gay and had been Urahara's lover at one point in time. After Ikkaku helped Izuru get her down they headed out.

When they finally caught a glimpse of Yachiru she was just leaving the tenth division. She saw them, waved, then vanished and Kenpachi was almost afraid to see what havoc she'd created for Hitsugaya. Needless to say, Hitsugaya looked rather annoyed when they found him, plastered to the ceiling with candy as hard as rock. Kenpachi didn't even want to _know_ how she'd done that, so he left Matsumoto to get her captain down.

As they were passing the twelfth division on their way to the thirteenth, Ikkaku sighed and rubbed his temples. "We're gonna be in trouble you know, taicho," he pointed out.

Kenpachi grunted. He was about to reply when he heard an outraged shriek that sounded suspiciously like a mix of female and Mayuri. Oh no. They hurried into the 12th, only to see that Yachiru had left but not before she'd fused Mayuri and Nemu together. Mayuri pointed accusingly at Kenpachi.

"_You_," he said in that high-pitched voice of his. "Get your second seat under control!" he shrieked, trying unsuccessfully to pull his and Nemu's heads apart.

Zaraki snorted. "Gotta find 'er first," he retorted. "Have fun."

Ikkaku snickered as they left heading for the 13th. When they arrived, Yachiru was curled up asleep on the couch and Ukitake was both drinking some tea and doing his paperwork. Ikkaku and his captain gaped for a few minutes before the thirteenth company captain looked up, smiling at them.

"Please! Come in and have a cup of tea!" he offered, motioning toward the extra cups set out on the coffee table.

"How'd you do it?" Ikkaku asked.

Shunsui, who was sprawled on the floor in front of Jyuushiro's desk, drinking sake without managing to spill a drop, snorted. "Tranquilizer," he offered. "Why didn't you tell me you had the stuff, Jyuu-chan?" he whined.

Both eleventh division members looked at Ukitake, who simply smiled. "The hell?" Kenpachi asked, looking confused.

"Oh, it's happened before," the other captain replied, waving his hand dismissively before returning to his paperwork.

-

On his way to the captain's meeting the next day, Kenpachi noticed that the entirety of the second division was burned down. He snickered and mentally congratulated Yachiru.

-

**Hope you liked it! I had fun writing it! R&R and if you have a pairing/theme request, lemme know!**


	11. Seven Minutes in Heaven

**11) Seven Minutes in Heaven**

**Pairing/characters: SoifonxKenpachi, Yoruichi, Urahara, Ichigo**

**Description: She'd do anything for her Yoruichi-sama, after all.**

**Warning: Spoilers (slight, for SS arc)**

**Dedication: Draco-sama, 'cause it's so a companion for her own Seven Minutes in Heaven**

**Rating: T**

-

Soifon shot Kenpachi a glare. Zaraki grinned back. She yelped when he grabbed her ass. Again. And then...

Soifon shot Kenpachi a glare. Zaraki grinned back. Wash, rinse, repeat. After this cycle repeated at least three more times, Soifon finally got annoyed with it. "Stop it, you damn pervert!" she snapped in a low voice. Zaraki had the sudden childish urge to stick his tongue out at her. Obviously a man that obeyed his urges, he did. She stared at him like he was nuts, which was entirely possible and he grinned back. And then he groped her again.

She looked torn between smacking him and obeying her Yoruichi-sama. Obviously, the latter won out, and she kept her hands to herself. Not that he did, though. She smacked his hand away again and glared at the closet door. If it weren't for her Yoruichi-sama, she wouldn't even be in this damn closet to begin with.

_"The game's called Seven Minutes in Heaven! Right, Ichigo?"_

_"No."_

_"Aw! Okay, spin the bottle! Oh, look! It's Bumble-chan and Ken-chan! Go in the closet and do anything you want for seven minutes! We'll tell you when your time is up!"_

Dammit. Soifon yelped again when he groped her and she could have sworn she'd heard a snicker on the other side of the door.

"Yanno," Kenpachi drawled, amused. "We can do anything we want for seven minutes."

She shot him a glare. "I'm doing exactly what I want, Zaraki taicho," she replied coolly.

He whistled. "Well, so am I." This time, he grabbed her boob.

She slapped him but that grin didn't leave his face. "Pervert!" There was that snicker again.

Zaraki frowned. "You're not being any fun, Soifon," he said, pretending he wasn't pouting. He was a manly man after all. Manly men didn't pout. So, rather than pout he grabbed her waist, ignoring her shriek and pulled her up onto his lap, heedless of the clawed nails trying to snatch out his eye.

-

When the door was pulled open by Yoruichi, Kenpachi was a twitching, grinning puddle on the floor, though there were no obvious wounds as Soifon stepped out stiffly. She shot Urahara a glare when the geta-boshi dared chuckle and walked out of the room. No one ever found out what she did to poor Zaraki taicho.

-

**Oh, Gods, I had so much fun writing this. Lol. And only **_**I**_** know what she did. XD R&R. Also, sorry for the delay in posting. If you checked my profile page, you would have seen why. Until this morning, my computer had been broken, but thankfully it is now fixed and I shall resume all updating (sorta). Thanks for your patience! XD I'll be updating only once a week from now on, since it's easier to keep track of. Either Sunday or a nearby day every week.**

**-Sorrow-sama**


	12. Left in the Dust

**12) Left in the Dust**

**Pairing/characters: RenjixOrihime (present), Rukia/Ichigo (present), Orihime/Ichigo (past), Renji/Rukia (past)**

**Description: Renji really hated Kurosaki, because he always made Orihime-chan look so lonely.**

**Warning: A little Ichigo-bashing, but only because Renji's pissed, Spoilers for SS arc, angst**

**Dedication: CrimonDucky because s/he requested it.**

**Rating: K+**

-

The New Years Eve party, while festive and fun, was a bad memory. It was the night that Rukia and Ichigo got engaged. That night Renji began to see for the first time what Orihime-chan must see every time she looked at Ichigo and all because Ichigo got to Rukia first. Damn him.

That Orihime- no, _his_ Orihime, had looked so sad that night.

_Ichigo and Byakuya had been talking for a while, the two looking even more stressed by the second. They almost looked like they'd come to blows any moment now. But even so for some reason Rukia looked so happy as she watched the interaction._

_"The hell is Strawberry talkin' ta taicho about?" Renji demanded, wondering why Ichigo would go out of his way to discuss something seriously with Byakuya._

_"You'll see," Rukia replied softly, smiling. And it wasn't her usual smug, teasing smile either. It was a real smile, a true smile. Renji just didn't get it but then he didn't get a lot of things, so he supposed that was alright._

_He scowled. "Why the hell're you bein' so mysterious for?" he demanded, pretending that he wasn't sulking._

_Rukia sighed and looked up at him. "Would you just freakin' wait a minute, Renji?" she returned, glaring at him._

_He sniffed and shoved his hands into his gigai's pockets. "Che, whatever."_

_Then Ichigo and Byakuya started their way, the noble looking both resigned and annoyed. When they reached the two, Ichigo dropped to one knee before Rukia, pulling a small black box out of his pocket. "Hey, Rukia," he said with a smile. "You know what this is, don't you?"_

_She nodded, looking as if she were holding back tears. She had eyes only for Ichigo._

_Renji didn't understand it so he looked up, about to ask his captain what was going on. And that's when he saw her. Orihime-chan was staring at them in horror, a tear trailing down her cheek. Renji whirled back around just as Ichigo said those fateful words._

_"Kuchiki Rukia, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" Ichigo asked, opening the box to reveal a small diamond ring._

_Rukia threw her arms around Ichigo shoulders, sobbing. "Yes, yes, yes!" she cried._

_Ichigo hugged her back with a smile and looked up at Renji. "I need to talk to you in a minute," he mouthed, smiling at the redhead._

_Renji felt as if a black hole had opened up beneath him and swallowed him whole. He couldn't breathe and the sounds around him became muted. The people seemed to be moving in slow motion, back and forth, gathering around. Somewhere on the edge of his senses, he saw Orihime leave with Tatsuki, crying into her hands. Tatsuki didn't really look angry, though, only sad._

_Rukia slipped the ring on, only to be told that it had been Ichigo's mother's. She looked truly touched even as she and Ichigo kissed. Byakuya looked annoyed by the entire thing but there was relief swimming in his eyes. He knew that Ichigo could take care of her and that was good enough for him._

_When Ichigo finally got away from the exultant Rukia long enough for them to talk, Renji was seated at a table at the edge of the room. "Renji! I was wondering if you wouldn't mind being my best man?" he asked, sitting down beside the redhead._

_Renji shrugged. "Fine," he answered, then looked up at Ichigo, about to ask what a 'best man' was._

_Something in Renji's eyes or expression must have forewarned Ichigo, because he held up a hand, frowning. "Renji... Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes searching Renji's face._

_"No," Renji answered honestly. "Not really."_

_"What's wrong?" Rukia asked, appearing behind Ichigo. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and watched Renji worriedly. "Is everything alright, Renji?"_

_"Fine," the redhead lied, sighing. "I think I'm going to go get some fresh air." Without waiting for them to reply, he rose, bowed and gave them a stiff 'congratulations' and walked out the door._

_The garden outside the church, while cold tonight, was rather beautiful, and as soon as Renji saw Tatsuki and Orihime, he headed over to the pair. Tatsuki saw him coming and must have told Orihime, because the second he was within reach, she threw herself at him, sobbing and hugging him. Renji went stock still, positively shocked. He wasn't quite sure what to do so he just hugged her back._

_"Y-you don't have to b-be sad!" she sobbed, her tears wetting his shirt. "I-I know you l-loved her!"_

_Renji, confused, pulled away and searched her face. Then he realized that despite her own pain she was trying to comfort him in his. Sighing, Renji pulled her back into the hug. "You should heed your own advice, Orihime," he stated._

_Tatsuki smiled sadly, remaining seated on the bench he had found them on._

_"I-I know," Orihime said sadly, sniffing. "But..."_

_"It's hard to let go," Renji suggested when she trailed off._

_She nodded. "It's hard to let go. It's hard to just... accept it, but... 'Nii-sama had always said to be kind to others and think about them before myself, so..."_

_Renji understood._

Since then, though he'd been sad for a while, Renji was also happy. After all, if it hadn't been for Rukia and Ichigo he and Orihime would never have met and they would never have fallen so deeply in love. So even though Renji hated Kurosaki for making Orihime cry he was grateful to him as well. And even though they were left in the dust they managed to make something of it.

"Renji-kun!" Orihime called, interrupting his reminiscence. "I've got the picnic food!"

He looked up, watching in horror as she crossed the field with a basket of food. Not again... "Let me help you," he said, getting up with a sigh.

Orihime smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek in thanks when he took the basket from her. "Thank you, Renji-kun!"

He smiled. "Thank _you_, Hime."

-

**Kyaa! That was so adorable! Sad, but adorable! I hope you liked! R&R, and if you have any pairing/prompt requests, feel free to let me know! Also, to make up for being wonky with updating lately, I'm posting two one-shots today. I'm also not going to be updating for the next month. Sorry! XD**


	13. Problem

**13) Problem**

**Pairing/characters: RenjixKira, Rukia, (hinted) ByakuyaxIchigo, Momo, several others**

**Description: Renji faces a dilemma. And Izuru might just have the resolution. One-shot trade with Dracoqueen22**

**Warning: Spoilers, crack, Momo-bashing, disgruntled Renji.**

**Dedication: To Draco-sama, because she'll be writing me an UlquiBya in return.**

**Rating: T (for kissing)**

-

For the annual Christmas ball, everyone was required to bring a date. However, Renji wasn't quite sure what to do about that one. He and Rukia, despite everyone's beliefs, were just friends, and while Orihime was nice, there was the whole 'in love with the strawberry' issue. And Matsumoto... Well, anyone who went with Matsumoto was insane. Which would probably be why she and her captain 'went' together every year. Che, and she called them 'cute'.

Of course, he could always ask Isane fukutaicho, who was rather nice, but then, her sister had jealousy issues that he wasn't all that sure he was willing to deal with. At least, not right now. And that was pretty much it. None of the other women were even worth considering. They were either too low station, or creepy beyond compare. Like Unohana taicho.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, pulling Renji from his thoughts. After a quick questioning glance at Kuchiki taicho, Renji spoke up. "Um, come in!" he called.

Kira fukutaicho stepped inside, bowing to them and seemingly ignorant of the fact that Kuchiki taicho was successfully ignored them both, no doubt thinking about the paperwork he was currently attending to. The blond smiled nervously at Renji and shifted from one foot to the other, quietly thoughtful for a moment. Then he spoke, sounding as nervous as he looked.

"So, Abarai-kun, do you have a date for the ball yet?" he asked, curious. For some reason, Byakuya's quill halted in its soft _scritch, scritch_ on the paper before him.

Renji didn't appear to notice. "Uh, no. Why?" He got excited as a thought suddenly occurred to him. "Did you find me a date?! What's 'er name? Do I know 'er?"

Izuru blushed slightly, though it was barely noticeable with his head down like that. "Um, something like that," he murmured, fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve.

"Well?" Renji urged. The blond muttered something under his breath and Renji strained to hear it, with little success. "What? Kira, speak up!"

Izuru sighed heavily and peeked up through his bangs. "Well... Me," he admitted, his voice barely loud enough for Renji to catch.

The redhead was confused for a moment, before finally getting it. "Oh, you don't have ta do that, Kira. We'll find ourselves some women, just you watch." He sent his friend a reassuring grin, only to frown when there was a soft snort from his captain's direction. "What's so funny, taicho?" he demanded, barely refraining from going off on the other man - though his restraint mostly stemmed from the fact that Kuchiki could kick his ass with his eyes closed.

Byakuya looked up from his paperwork, raising a brow. "Nothing, Renji," he replied, amusement twinkling in his eyes. "Nothing at all. You just have to figure it out for yourself."

Renji scowled at the noble. "Oh, yeah! At least it didn't take Rukia literally spelling it out!" As if realizing his words, Renji paused, and then slowly took another look at Kira. The blond was fidgeting again. "Um, Kira?"

Izuru jumped, looking up from his study of the floor. "Y-yes?"

"Did you mean... Did you mean 'you' as in for the actual _date_?" he asked, something fluttering slightly in his chest. Renji wasn't sure if it was uncertainty, or actual anticipation, though he didn't know if he could actually call it that. They were both men, after all, and according to Hime, that was unnatural.

The blond nodded, looking slightly guilty. "Um, yes, Abarai-kun, I did," he answered, looking at Renji hopefully, his fingers still fumbling with the hem of his sleeve.

Renji didn't know what to say to that. Izuru liked him? When had that happened? Did it... no, Izuru had always acted the same around him, so... when? Was he just that good at hiding it? What the hell? Renji's head began to hurt. "Uh... So... For real? You like me?" he asked, rather than leave all of the questions swimming around in his head.

Izuru nodded again. "Yes, Abarai-kun. For a while, actually," he admitted. "Matsumoto-san's been trying to get me to 'fess up' since she found out last week."

That made sense. Rangiku was nosy like that, and it also meant that she was probably listening in somewhere. "Okay, then," he agreed with a nod. "I want to know if you'd go to the ball with me, Kira."

Izuru smiled brightly, and Renji had to admit that it was a rather pretty smile. "Of course!" he agreed, beaming.

Byakuya rolled his eyes. Kids.

-

**Well, I hope you like it, Draco-sama! My end of the deal is complete! XD Sorry if it's too short for your liking. To everyone else, R&R and request if you have any pairing/prompts that you'd like to see! Also, I won't be updating for the next month, so to make up for that and the fact that I've been a little wonky with updates lately, I'm double posting today.**


	14. Unexpected

14) Unexpected

Pairing/characters: Gin, Oc

Decription: Well, Kya sure didn't expect this one, though it _was _rather amusing.

Warning: Oc, hints of het, spoilers for SS arc, etc.

Dedication: RAWRified on FFN and DA, for letting me borrow her Oc for this. Kya belongs to RAWRified, and may not be used by anyone else without first speaking with RAWRified herself.

Rating: T

Authoress' Note: RAWRified has officially given me permission to use her Oc, Arakaki Kya, in the following note: _i formally give you permission, just say where u got kya from and ill be happy_

-

When Kya had been told to go into the human world, she hadn't expected her opponent to be this stubborn. The damn hollow just wouldn't _die_. Of course, Kya had no doubts about her power and knew she was much stronger than the twitching fish-like thing on the ground - regenerating again - but... It was stubborn. She just kind of felt the need to point that one out.

"Hey, die already! Okay, just die!" she shouted at it, her voice overly loud and frustrated.

It only twitched, still in the process of regenerating.

"Yanno, ya could jus' slice it's mask while it's regeneratin'," a voice suggested, sounding amused.

Kya looked over her shoulder. "Wow! I don't think that one occurred to me!" she said, laughing sheepishly. Her sword surreptiously slashed through the hollows mask behind her before she gave the man before her a once over. "Can't say I expected you to be here, Ichimaru."

He shrugged. "Didn' 'spect ta see ya here, either. Small world, huh?" He grinned. "An' it's Gin, Kya-san," he added.

Kya shook her head. "You know, Gin, I had to go through an entire fiasco because you and your comrades up and betrayed Seireitei. You really hurt her, too."

Gin looked down, sighing. "Yea, I know," he muttered. "Tell 'er I'm sorry abou' tha', okay?"

"Yeah, I'll tell her," Kya agreed.

Suddenly, a hand reached out of nowhere, grabbing onto Gin's pantleg. He jumped and looked down. "W-Wonderweiss? The hell?" He looked around, eyes opening slightly, as if he expected someone else to be there.

"Aw, how cute!" Kya gushed, bending over and cooing at the little boy.

"Yer nuts," Gin muttered, looking just a shade shy of unnerved. "Tha' kid freaks me out..."

Kya laughed and winked up at him. "That's because you're guilty."

"O' what?" the fox-faced traitor asked, looking down at her skeptically.

"Dunno, just are," she replied, grinning at him teasingly.

"Tch," Gin scoffed, pouting and averting his gaze. "Yer still nuts."

Kya shook her head, chuckling. "Tell that to Byakuya." She paused thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose he'd probably agree with you, though..." Her brow furrowed as she tried to imagine that conversation, and she snorted when she could only come up with Byakuya trying to slash his way through, and Gin making fun of him and dodging. "Probably not a good idea, now that I think of it."

"Ah-ha! I knew it!" Gin shouted suddenly, pointing accusingly at a billboard.

Kya gave him a strange look and started to inch away, wondering if Gin had just fallen off his rocker. That is, until she realized who he was talking to. Tosen stepped out from behind the billboard and sniffed, muttering something about justice, and Kya... Well, she just wanted to puke. "Ew! He's got cooties!" she gasped, reeling away and stepping behind Gin. "Don't let him infect me with his cooties..."

Gin snickered. "Told ya, Kana-chan! Ya _do_ have cooties! See? Kya-san said so."

Tosen sniffed again. "And how is that justifiably possible?"

Kya and Gin paused, giving him identical blank looks. "What?" they chorused.

Tosen sighed. "The both of you are morons," he muttered. "Anyway, you _are_ aware that Arakaki-san is your enemy, are you not?"

Kya glared. "Did he just...?"

Gin nodded, feeling sorry for Tosen for once. "Yep."

Kya stepped out from behind Gin and scowled at Tosen, who sensed her angry aura and took a step back, worry entering his expression. "Did you call my by my _family_ name?" she demanded, taking another threatening step forward.

"I am trying to be as polite as possible considering the situa-"

"You called me by my family name, Tosen."

Gin decided to step back and watch the carnage, smiling happily as she pounded the living shit out of Kaname. Hey, the bastard had broken a cardinal rule: never call Kya by her last name.

-

**Hope you like it, Rose! To everyone else, R&R and if you have a request/prompt that you'd like to see, lemme know! **


	15. Leash

**15) Leash**

**Pairing/characters: ShunsuixNanao, Ukitake, Kiyone/Sentaro (slight)**

**Description: Nanao really didn't know how he did it. It was beyond her.**

**Warning: Spoilers for SS arc, crack, het**

**Dedication: RAWRified, for requesting 'something with Shunsui acting like an idiot'. XD**

**Rating: T (for swearing)**

-

_Smack!_ Nanao's large, heavy volume made a satisfying _thunk_ when she hit her captain the second time in a row. He whimpered, withdrew his hand from where he'd been about to touch some random passing woman's bottom and rubbed his head. "Nanao-chan! What was _that_ for?" he whined.

"Behave yourself," she replied, rather than answering.

Ukitake chuckled. He was sitting crosslegged on the blanket they'd laid down in order to watch the fireworks, sipping some tea that Kiyone, arguing with Sentaro all the while, had brought for him. "This is very good, Kiyone, thank you," he told his subordinate.

"Thank you, taicho!" both Kiyone and Sentaro shouted at once.

"Why are _you_ saying 'thank you'!?" Sentaro shouted at her. "I made it!"

Kiyone glared at him. "But he thanked me, you dumbass!"

"That doesn't mean you get all the credit!" Sentaro retorted.

Ukitake coughed slightly to hide his amusement. Both were suddenly at his side, asking if the tea was warm enough, or if he needed a blanket. Kiyone ran off to get him a snow suit and Sentaro followed, shouting and calling her an idiot.

"You did that on purpose, Jyuu-chan," Shunsui accused, before taking a large gulp of his sake jug.

Ukitake gave him an innocent look. "I assure you, dear Shu-chan, that I have no idea what you're talking about," he replied, his eyes dancing.

"Uh-huh, just like Byakushi." At his friend's confused look, he explained. "You cough to hide the fact that you are indeed in much better health than everyone assumes and he dresses girly to hide his masculinity."

Nanao hit him in the head with her book again.

"Nanao-chan!"

"Behave, taicho," she ordered tersely before opening her book and beginning to read it. She may as well, it was due to the library the day after tomorrow.

Shunsui pouted. "Nanao-chan's so mean to me... Lisa was mean, too, now that I think of it..." He tipped his head thoughtfully, considering. "They're probably carbon copies..."

_Thwack!_ "Stop being an idiot."

Jyuushiro chuckled. "Perhaps you should behave, hm, Shu-chan?"

Shunsui deflated and crossed his arms, sulking. Nanao rolled her eyes and looked up as a bright explosion of red caught her attention. For some reason her captain behaved mostly for the rest of the evening, giving them some time to enjoy the fireworks, for which Nanao was grateful. She really didn't know how Ukitake taicho got her captain to behave, but as long as he shut up, she didn't care.

-

**Hehe. It sux right now... But I'll get it right eventually. Also, I'm gonna be gone for a while, starting this week, so I'm posting early. Thanks for bearing with me! XD**


	16. A Small Winter's World

**16) A Small Winter's World**

**Pairing/characters: ChadxOrihime, mentions of others**

**Description: It was their's and their's alone. No one could enter.**

**Warning: Spoilers (if you squint), het, slight angst**

**Dedication: Kali-chan, who requested it.**

**Rating: K+**

-

When Chad awoke in a hospital only to hear that everything was over, Seireitei had won and Aizen was dead, he couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with him. He felt so... useless, like he hadn't done a thing to help in Aizen's defeat. And really, he hadn't. One glimpse outside at the snow, pure and white and clear, confirmed that. He was just as useless as he'd thought he was to begin with.

Every other word out of Inoue's mouth was still 'Kurosaki' rather than 'Sado', and sometimes it was even 'Ishida' now too. Apparently, she'd had to repair his arm after he'd lost it. Chad was such a failure and Kurosaki was still the knight in shining armor.

"Sado-kun?"

Chad looked up, blinking. Inoue had come by for a visit it would seem. He motioned toward the chair beside his bed and sat up. She beamed at him and sat, nearly tripping in the process. "How are you doing, Sado-kun?" she asked, pulling out some needles and beginning to stitch. It looked like something a child had done so far.

"Fine," he answered, studying her as she sewed.

She began chatting about what had happened at school that day, about how Ichigo had beat Keigo up after he'd fondled her and about how Izuru had started teaching her how to sew. Just the usual nonsense things. He hadn't even realized she'd fallen silent until she reached out and touched his shoulder, her gaze settled on his face as her brows furrowed worriedly.

He looked up at her and was struck by how beautiful she really was, despite how rather ignorant Ichigo appeared to be on the matter. "Huh?" he asked, wondering if she'd asked him a question and he'd somehow missed it.

"Sado-kun? Are you okay?" she asked. She was genuinely worried for him but then that was just the way Inoue had always been.

He grunted an affirmative and looked out the window at the snow. He was therefore surprised when she was suddenly hugging him, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and her body shaking with the force of her sobs. His eyes widened as he automatically grabbed her to keep her from falling.

"Inoue...?" he murmured, brows furrowing in confusion.

"Sado-kun's so brave all the time!" she murmured. "Sado-kun protects me and then when he knows he can't protect me, he asks Kurosaki-kun to do it for him, because that's just the way Sado-kun is." Her grip tightened. "So... Could Sado-kun do me a favor and not be lonely anymore?"

His eyes widened. "Inoue... I..." His mouth shut and he embraced her back, letting her relax in his arms. It was the best answer he could give, after all.

"Thank you, Sado-kun," she whispered, curling up in his lap and staring out at the snow. "Thank you so much."

Chad nodded and couldn't help but think that for a time, this little world, here in this hospital, staring out at the bright, pristine snow... It was all their's. Their's and their's alone, and no one could enter. His eyes slid shut and he recalled something his grandfather said once.

_"See this, Yasutora? This snow... It creates a small Winter's world, just for us. Would you help me make the house?"_

Chad smiled. "Inoue?"

"Hm?" she replied sleepily, one eye opening.

"Will you help me make a snow fort? After I get out of the hospital, of course."

She beamed. "Of course, Sado-kun! I haven't done that in _ages_!"

"Good."

-

**Aw. Fluffity fluff fluff. -sighs- How romantic. XD R&R and if you have any requests, lemme know!**


	17. Fairy Tale

**17) Fairy Tale**

**Pairing/characters: UryuuxOrihime**

**Description: She was the princess, and he was the warrior.**

**Warning: No real spoilers, unless you're really looking for them, het, crack**

**Dedication: KibaSin, my good friend and beta, for requesting this.**

**Rating: T**

-

Orihime had always wanted a knight-in-shining-armour, she had just always seen Kurosaki-kun as that person. She hadn't expected her knight to shoot a bow, or to sew like nobody else ever could - making him an irriplaceable asset, in her opinion - and she sure as heck hadn't expected him to be Ishida.

A Quincy. Her knight was a Quincy, not that she was complaining. She especially loved how he told her the loveliest stories she'd ever heard. Her favorite was about the princess and the warrior.

_Once upon a time, there was a princess. The evil bastard from the evil land of the dead people came and took the beautiful princess away, claiming that her purity would be the rise of his empire. Well, when her most loyal warrior, whom she hadn't ever truly seen but was there nonetheless, heard of her predicament, he wanted nothing more than to protect her and rescue her._

_So when his 'ally', also a dead person, though quite annoyingly alive at the same time - unfortunately - determined that he'd save her himself and hog all her love for only him, the warrior halted his training and went with the other dead-but-not-really man, travelling with him and their trusty mexican guard dog to the evil bastard's lair. Once there, they kicked the evil bastard's minion's asses and rescued the princess._

_And you know what, Orihime?_

_**What, Ishida-kun?**_

_The warrior got the princess this time, not the knight._

-

**I know. It was rather odd, wasn't it?**


	18. Beware of Fifth Seat

**18) Beware of Fifth Seat**

**Pairing/characters: Kenpachi, Yumichika, Yachiru, Unohana**

**Description: Be afraid. Be very afraid.**

**Warning: Crack, slight spoilers for SS arc**

**Dedication: Ken-chan himself, 'cause he's a sexy beast.**

**Rating: T (for swearing)**

-

After a while, one got used to Kenpachi hiding in various places from his fifth seat. One of his more frequent hiding places happened to be in the supply closet in Retsu's office. She didn't mind, though, because Yumichika knew where his captain was anyway. After all, Yumichika wasn't really as stupid as his captain thought he was.

"Unohana taicho!" the fifth seat in question greeted, entering the room with a dazzlingly bright smile. "Have you seen taicho lately?" His eyes flickered to the supply closet door and he smiled vindictively.

"Not since this morning," Retsu replied, barely glancing up from her paperwork. She was almost finished, and she didn't need to be interrupted. "Have you checked his room?"

"Yes, I just came from there," Yumichika answered, inching toward the closet.

Unohana looked up and smiled at him. He froze. "Please don't bother him anymore, Ayasegawa-san," she requested, knowing he'd be back at it tomorrow.

Yachiru's head suddenly popped up over his shoulder, her having been clinging to his back. "But Ken-chan's lost, Braid Lady!" she protested.

Yumichika nodded, inching toward the closet again. When Unohana smiled at him again, he stopped, taking a step back. "Um... Then I'll be going and looking elsewhere!" he declared before leaving.

Before he was gone, Yachiru leapt off his back and landed on the floor, ignoring Unohana's warning look. She ran to the closet door and threw it open. "Ken-chan!" she cheered happily.

"Shhhh!" he hissed, putting a finger to his mouth and looking around the room frantically. "Is 'e gone?"

Yachiru nodded. "Yep!"

He relaxed, letting out a sigh of relief. "Damn, he's such a freak..."

Unohana couldn't help but smile. Yumichika was waiting just outside the door.

-

**Ha ha. I hope you liked it! R&R and if you have a pairing/prompt request, lemme know!**


	19. The Things we Do

**19) The Things we Do**

**Pairing/characters: OrihimexUlquiorra, (slight) SentaroxKiyone**

**Description: Her tears fell and ran down his face. "Don't die..."**

**Warning: Spoilers for HM arc, het**

**Rating: T**

-

Ulquiorra falls backward, the wound in his stomach bleeding heavily and Orihime runs to him. She drops down to her knees and pulls his head into her lap activating her shield. "Hinagiku, Lily, Baigon, Santen Kesshun, I reject!" The shield surrounds them and she looks down into his eyes. He looks back up at her, his face blank but annoyance in his eyes.

"Why?" he whispers, refraining from speaking loudly for fear of coughing up blood.

She shakes her head. "Shhh," she orders and she begins the process of reversing the damage, even as their opponent attacks them. He's a shinigami from Seireitei, but she's never seen him before.

"You're a fool," Ulquiorra scoffs, but he doesn't stop her healing.

Orihime knows what he says is true but she smiles gently and doesn't reply even as their enemy is steadily breaking down her shield. Right before it's shattered, she finishes and tells Lily, Hinagiku and Baigon to release, and they are grateful, returning to the form of a hairclip, along with Ayame and Shun'o. Ulquiorra stands and knocks the shinigami away when he attempts to kill Orihime.

"What a coward," the Espada sneers. "You cannot defeat myself so you attack a healing woman? Truly pathetic."

The shinigami roars in outrage and attacks Ulquiorra again. He parries the blow and Orihime thinks she can see a new resolve in his eyes. Far away, she can hear Ichigo's cry of fury as Gin's reiatsu lessens a bit; the man must have been wounded. Still further, Aizen-sama and Urahara are battling back-to-back, their reiatsu still strong.

A shinigami falls, bleeding badly, beside Orihime. He looks up at her and she's sorry to see that it's poor Sentaro. He smiles at her and reaches out. "I know... Your heart is right," he whispers and then his eyes lose their light.

"Orihime!" Ulquiorra calls, before appearing beside her. He looks down and frowns. "Close his eyes," he orders, before returning to his battle.

She's touched when she realizes that he'd been concerned for her and she obeys his request, closing poor Sentaro's eyes, and arranging his arms beside his body. Nearby is Kiyone, his killer, on her knees crying. Orihime can understand and she goes to the other woman and holds her. She knows how hard it must have been, and despite the fact that they are enemies, Kiyone holds onto her desperately, whispering how sorry she is.

Orihime screams when a sword goes through Kiyone's chest, and she looks up in shock to see Soifon, her teeth gritted in fury. The second company captain raises her hand and prepares to strike with her zanpakuto. And suddenly, Ulquiorra and she are clashing swords, and she stares in shock as he falls a second time. She calls up her shield again, and blocks Soifon's attacks.

"Ulquiorra-sama," she asks, afraid. His eyes are closed and something twists uncertainly inside her. "Ayame, Shun'o! Soten Kisshun, I reject!" she cries helplessly, tears running down her cheeks and onto his face. "Don't die, Ulquiorra-sama," she whispers. She hopes he can hear her.

At some point, between Neliel appearing to assist them and completing the healing process, she closes her eyes and begins to sob carelessly, hoping he won't die. Something cold touches her face and she opens them again, looking down into a sea of deep, calm green. His fingers brush away her tears, his face blank.

"Don't cry, it's annoying," he states and she wants to laugh, because that's such an Ulquiorra thing to say.

Then she's finished healing him and he rises and helps Neliel take Soifon down. Despite how foolish it is to think, she wishes with all her heart that she can stay beside him forever.

He saves her again, and calls her foolish for spacing out, and she knows he's right. She stands, and begins to heal whoever on their side that she can, starting with Gin-sama.

-

**I hope you guys like this one. It came out better than I expected, but that's probably because I now have an addiction to this pairing. Lol. R&R, and if you have a prompt/request, lemme know!**


	20. Ire of the Dragon God

**20) Ire of the Dragon God**

**Pairing/characters: (one-sided) HinamorixAizen, (grotesque and one-sided) AizenxHitsugaya**

**Description: The second time, it was even sweeter.**

**Warning: Spoilers for the second Karakura arcs and SS arc. Oh, yeah, and evil Aizen... Aizen, he's badass. XD**

**Rating: M (for gore and macabre themes)**

-

The first time, when his sword had run her through, he'd had the satisfaction of watching first shock, then sadness and finally fury spread across dear Toshiro-kun's face. The second time, it was even sweeter. She stared up at him, tears washing over her cheeks, blood pouring down her stomach, and reached for him still. Such a lovely subordinate.

"A-Aizen... taicho..." she whispered, shocked. "W-why?"

He leaned down, placing his mouth beside her ear, all the while watching poor little Toshiro-kun's face as it became enraged. "I have one last task for you, Hinamori-kun," he whispered to her.

"One... last task...?" she asked, already starting to go limp, his grip on the blade through her middle the only thing keeping her upright. "W-what is it, Aizen taicho?" she whispered, desperation in her voice.

Ah, so very lovely. Dear Hinamori-kun would do anything for her Aizen taicho, even if she were on her death bed when he told her to do it. She really was a very lovely subordinate. "Die, Hinamori-kun, and don't survive. For my new world order."

Her eyes widened, before he pushed her off of the blade, the sound making a sickening 'plop' as she fell away, dropping downwards like a stone. Toshiro-kun leaped to catch her, but was forced to dodge a kido from Gin. He reached out, attempting to grab her, only for gravity to suck her down, spattering her blood along the ground in a beautifully grotesque arch to either side of her, a sick crunch announcing the breaking of more than one bone upon impact. The blood itself started at the edges of her body and arched outward, almost like wings. Ah, dear Hinamori-kun was a butterfly. Now she could fly.

Aizen smiled, and watched the trembling outrage overtake Toshiro-kun's judgement in a second, forcing Matsumoto and Kira to hold him back as he roared with fury. "Ta ta, Hinamori-kun," Gin said beside him, wiggling his fingers at the dead girl.

She didn't respond, her eyes open but unseeing as she lay there, dead. Good thing Orihime-chan wasn't here; she would have ruined such a pretty picture.

"Aizen! You traitor!" Hitsugaya screamed, struggling with the two vice captains. His reiatsu swirled around him, quickly becoming tangible and shaped like Hiyorinmaru's spirit form. The dragons, both young shinigami and ancient zanpakuto spirit, glared at him and roared in fury simultaneously.

Aizen smiled. "The second time, Toshiro-kun, it's always sweeter."

Hitsugaya roared and broke free of their hold on him, going forward in a swirling mass of icy, deadly ire. Aizen welcomed it.

-

**Yes, rather... er, macabre, I know. I was in the mood, though. And there are heavy spoilers for the new Karakura arc. Heh heh. Don't own Bleach, but if you wish to request a drabble, go right on ahead. I'd appreciate it! XD**

**Also! I love fanart. XD *hint hint* Good or bad, I don't care, but authors here on FFN and DA live for fanart, so... *waits patiently* XD**

**And last but not least, for anyone who's interested in an ACT (Anime Character Tournament), PM me! I'll explain in detail then, but suffice it to say that it's very similar to an OCT (original character tournament). To learn more without listening to my pointless rambling, go to http : // thedarkmassacre . deviant art . com And look through the journals. Thanks!**


	21. Blood Soaked

**21) Blood Soaked**

**Pairing/characters: Nnoitra, adult Neliel**

**Description: He was finished, but why did he think of her?**

**Warning: Gore, macabre content, Spoilers for HM arc**

**Rating: M (for gore and macabre themes)**

-

After that kendo strike, everything was over really, but Nnoitra refused to just lay down and die. So he stood, shouting at his opponent and egging the shinigami on. He was in his element, after all. The blood was running thickly down his sides and he could already feel his guts hanging out in the front. And for some reason, he had a flash of her. Of long ago, when she chided him as she always had.

Che, bitch.

_"Why do you insist on fuckin' mockin' everything I do?" he demanded, glaring at her._

_Neliel sniffed and looked away, as cool-headed as usual, even though she was bathed in the blood of his slaughter. In fact, she looked rather sexy like that, not that he'd admit it. "Because you are a fool," she replied. "And as such, someone needs to keep an eye on you or else you'd bruise the honor of all present and future Espada."_

_"Che, don't be a bitch," he snarled before turning and hacking down a bastard that didn't seem to want to die._

_Neliel sighed and beheaded the man, giving Nnoitra an annoyed look as she passed by him. "Don't be a fool, and I won't be a 'bitch'," was her reply._

_Bitch. "Whatever." He slashed at another, their blood making an attractive arc through the air before imitating that arc on the ground. Almost like a blood-red rainbow._

He was cut down quickly enough, which was probably why she was the last thing he saw.

"N...noitra?" Nel whispered, staring at him.

-

**I hope you liked! Yes, I was in a macabre mood when I wrote this and the previous drabble. Lol.**


	22. Takoyaki

**22) Takoyaki**

**Pairing/characters: ByakuyaxRenji**

**Description: Right... now. Okay, now. No... Now. Dammit.**

**Warning: (light) yaoi, slight spoiler-ish**

**Dedication: Draco-sama, since she likes this pairing.**

**Rating: T (for lime)**

-

Byakuya was frozen where he stood. He didn't so much as flinch, much less think. His eyes were wide, staring sightlessly at a blur of red and black. There was a slight pressure on his lips, and something squeezing his wrist gently, and by Kami-sama, he really couldn't figure out the taste of takoyaki in his mouth. He couldn't remember having takoyaki today, or the entire week, for that matter, so it took probably longer than it should have for him to figure out where the taste was coming from.

Renji must have had takoyaki today.

Of course, the reason he was almost certain of this was... well, Renji was kissing him. In the rain. And they were both soaking wet and getting wetter by the minute. Of course, Byakuya hadn't noticed this on the account that he was still stuck on the tiny fact that Renji. Was. Kissing. Him. _Him_. His vice captain was kissing _him_. He, Kuchiki Byakuya, head of the noble Kuchiki house, was being kissed. By Renji. By his vice captain. By another man, though he subconsciously veered away from that line of thinking.

But probably the most startling fact of all was that... he really didn't mind. In fact, he, Kuchiki Byakuya, head of the noble Kuchiki house, was going to kiss him back. That was the plan, and he was sticking to it. Definitely. He would kiss Renji back... right... now. Okay, now. No... Now. Dammit.

Renji pulled away, disappointment in his eyes. "Gomen, taicho, I thought-"

Now. Byakuya silenced the fool's muttering permanently. Takoyaki was very tasty.

-

**I just noticed that I usually write from Renji's point of view when he's in the story. Odd, no? So I got halfway through writing it in his point of view, noticed this, and rewrote it in Byakuya's point of view.... Lol. R&R and if you have any pairing/prompt requests, lemme know! XD**


	23. Hell Butterfly

**23) Hell Butterfly**

**Pairing/character: ByakuyaxRenji**

**Description: Renji just couldn't figure it out.**

**Warning: (light) Yaoi, slight spoilers, serious crack.**

**Rating: T (for lime)**

-

Renji was perplexed. He was confused. He was befuddled, bemused, puzzled, stumped, addled and at a loss. Why, you ask? He wasn't quite sure, to be honest, which would probably be why in the first place. But for some reason, one unknown to him and was thus the reason for his confusion, he couldn't stop staring. Of course, the reason he was staring was because everyone else was, and he didn't know why, so he decided to stare too on the off chance that he'd figure it out.

That had been a week ago, and now he was hooked. He couldn't stop, and that was probably why everyone else did it. It was addictive.

There was a sigh, and his captain stopped walking, turning to raise a brow at Renji. "Why are you staring at me, Renji?" he asked, sounding annoyed.

Renji was rather surprised the usually oblivious man had noticed. Then again, when one didn't stop staring, even when his captain was looking, Renji supposed even Kurosaki would have noticed by now. The redhead wasn't very good at being subtle.

And the rain wasn't helping at all.

"Renji."

"Oh... Uh... No reason," Renji muttered, finally looking away. "Taicho," he added after several seconds had passed, causing Byakuya to sigh again.

"Well, stop it." And he turned around, flicking some water off of his umbrella, and began to walk again.

That's when they started. And what are 'they', you ask? The Thoughts. Yes, that was capitalized. With a capital 'T', at least in Renji's mind. The Thoughts urged him to reach out, grab his captain, and do just what everyone else wanted to but were too scared to contemplate for long. The Thoughts were tantalizing. They wanted him to do it....

And honestly, they were pretty damn convincing.

Renji must have stopped walking, because his captain halted seconds later, no more than a few feet away, and turned, frowning. "Renji, what are you doing?"

Renji wondered. The Thoughts urged. He gave in pretty quickly, too. The redhead reached out and snagged his captain's hand, yanking him back to where Renji stood, their lips crashing together and that umbrella falling to the ground in his captain's surprise. He tasted like tea. No surprise there.

When his captain didn't respond, Renji sighed in dissapointment and began to pull away. "Gomen, taicho," he muttered, starting to turn away in embarrassment. "I thought-"

He was interrupted, luckily, gloriously, when his captain grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back, growling something under his breath that sounded suspicously like 'now, dammit' before he kissed him back. Renji had finally figured it out. This was why.

-

**A sort of switched POV (point of view) for 'Takoyaki'.**


	24. Manly Tears

**24) Manly Tears  
Pairing/characters: KenpachixByakuya, Yachiru, IchigoxUrahara (hinted), Yuzu, mentions of others.  
Description: "Blame Byakuya." "And what did **_**I**_** do to deserve such blame?" "You adopted Rukia."  
Warning: Random soap-operas, Yachiru (all the warning you really need), Manly Men, crack up the wah-zoo, vaguely referring to 'Outfitting'  
Dedication: Draco-sama, for the prompt/pairing. Thanks a bunch!  
Prompt: Manly Tears  
Rating: T**

-

Kenpachi could only stare at the contraption in front of him, his lip quivering. Beside him, none other than Kuchiki Byakuya was staring in shock. On Zaraki's shoulder, Yachiru was out-right bawling, hysterical with this new development. Ichigo's eyebrow twitched.

How did this shit happen to _him_ of all people? Rukia had better be really fucking happy with herself. She always managed to get him into the most ridiculous situations ever, and then... then... Then _this_ sort of thing happens!

As if to accentuate his thoughts, Kenpachi sniffed. _Sniffed_, as if he were about to _cry_. _Kenpachi_ and _cry_ did _not_ fit in the same sentence.

And what was worse was that somewhere on the other side of Kenpachi, tucked into the couch, sniffling just as much as everyone else, he could just barely see Yuzu's leg. They were contaminating her, he was sure of it.

"Ken-chan! Look, Ken-chan!" Yachiru suddenly piped up, through her tears and her nonstop pulling on a lock of Byakuya's hair. "You're crying! This is sad, isn't it? I can't believe Shinsuke cheated on _both_ of them!

"Shut up, Yachiru, I ain't cryin'," Kenpachi denied stoutly, his eyes glued to the screen. He did not cry, he was a manly man. There was just something in his eye, that was all.

Ichigo groaned and dropped his head into his hands. This was getting worse by the minute.

"Ken-chan! Ken-chan!" Yachiru whined. "This is sad! This is sad, huh?!"

"Yeah, Yachiru, now shut up," Kenpachi snapped. "I can't hear what Meika is saying."

Silence descended and they were once again riveted on the television set and the love problems of a twenty two year old prostitute, who happened to be both beautiful and rich. And royale. And a slut, did he mention that?

_"Shinsuke, oh Shinsuke-"_

... _how art thou, Shinsuke?_

Oh, no. Ichigo was officially involved. Damn that Shakespear.

_"That Meika is just a load of trouble, Shinsuke. Only I love you truly, Shinsuke..."_

Let's see how many times we can say 'Shinsuke' before we age another minute! Ichigo's head somehow found his hands again and he groaned.

"Ken-chan! I think Strawberry's sick 'er somethin'!" Yachiru announced, leaning around Byakuya to stare at him worriedly. "Hey, Ichi! Are you sick?"

He shook his head, not allowing his face to leave the safety of his hands. "No, I'm not, Yachiru..."

"Oh." A pause. "You sure? You don't look so good."

"Blame Byakuya."

The noble in question scoffed. "And what did _I_ do to deserve such blame?"

"You adopted Rukia." There was silence at this, and he knew the others were sympathizing with his plight. At least until Kaikina and Shinsuke began to make out on the television set, demanding their full attention once more.

This went on, in a similar pattern, for the rest of the trio's stay in Ichigo's home, and he vowed that never, ever again was he going to allow Yuzu to watch a soap opera, especially with the look she was giving Byakuya. The trio departed, Yachiru gracing both Kenpachi's and Byakuya's shoulders, somehow, as they never walked more than a foot apart at a time. Ichigo was only happy to see them gone.

"Ichi-nii, am I a princess?"

Oh no... "Sure, Yuzu. Why not?" he groaned, vowing to kill Rukia for this. Brutally. This was all her fault, due to that _stupid_ matchmaking agency she and Yoruichi had set up, thanks to their 'success' with him and the getaboshi. Dammit, maybe he should just join Aizen. Surely the man didn't tolerate this nonsense...

-

**Gods... This was supposed to be from Zaraki's point of view, and somehow warped into a 'Rukia's Fault' drabble. I don't even know...**


	25. Phallic

**25) Phallic**

**Pairing/characters: GinxIshida, Aizen**

**Description: Gin wasn't quite sure what to think.**

**Warning: ... um... besides crack...?**

**Dedication: Draco-sama, for the prompt/pairing. Thanks a bunch!**

**Prompt: Shiny, phallic objects**

**Rating: T**

-

_It started with cookies. Cookies that looked rather... Odd. Gin had frowned and picked one up, studying it's strange shape. Were cookies supposed to shine like that? He'd then bitten into it. Suddenly, their shape made sense and he'd spit the cookie out, feeding the rest of them to Tosen, since he couldn't see them anyway. Needless to say, Tosen had enjoyed the 'creamy insides'. Gin just knew the other man was gay._

_The next time, it wasn't cookies, but a cake. Gin didn't bother with it and cut it in half before giving half to Grimmjow and the rest to Tosen, who inquired about all the attention. Gin told him that it was 'friendship week' and continued about his day, quietly snickering to himself._

_Then, he recieved a dildo. A... shiny, rubber dildo. He shuddered and gave it to Halibel, claiming he'd found it and thought it was her's. She lied and said it was, not even blushing as she took it from him and went to find Stark._

_Finally, with the last - a shiny plushy with it's cock in plain view - Gin had had enough. He demanded of Aizen taicho who was sneaking into Las Nochas every day to give him dick-shaped items, only to hear that they hadn't snuck in, but were invited. Gin gaped._

_"Are... Are ya __**serious**__?" he asked, not sure what to think. It was... It was preposterous, it was annoying, but most of all- It was confusing as all hell. "Who is it?" he demanded next._

_Aizen taicho had motioned to his guest, sitting at the table having tea with him. The Quincy, a slightly amused smirk on his face, gave a little wave before sipping some of his tea. "Hello, Ichimaru," he greeted._

_Gin blinked dumbly at him, then grinned. "You? Well, ya shoulda said so. I always liked pretty things."_

_Ishida smirked back. "Well, I'm glad you think I'm 'pretty'," he murmured amiably. "But I've previously been claimed."_

_There was a slight shift under the table, and Gin suddenly got it. They'd been totally screwing with him. He pouted. "Bu', I though'... No!" he cried out, mortified, as Uryuu and Aizen taicho began to make out right there._

-

Gin sat up straight in bed, his hand automatically searching the sheets next to him. He let out a relieved sigh when he felt his lover stir and curl into him. "What...?" Uryuu groaned, frowning and pushing Gin back down so he could lay his head on the other man's chest.

"It was horrible..." Gin moaned, hooking his elbow over his eyes.

"What was?"

Gin groaned as Uryuu's slightly cool hand brushed against his cock, the body part instantly responding. "You were... With... Aizen taicho."

Ishida paused, half propped up to begin making love to Gin. "Are you serious? He looks like Elvis, why would I want him?"

Gin shrugged. "I dunno, tell that ta my dreams."

Ishida rolled his eyes. "Stop dreamming such silly things. Here." He reached over to the bed stand and picked something large up. "I got up earlier and made these, since I couldn't sleep."

Gin stared in horror. It was a cookie sheet. And on it... were twelve shiny, dick-shaped cookies.

-

**Ha ha. That was so fun to write, lol. I hope you find it funny, Draco-sama! R&R! And if you have any pairing/prompt requests, lemme know!**


	26. Sweet Memories

**26) Sweet Memories**

**Pairing/characters: HitsugayaxUkitake, Kusaka Sojiro (memory), Shunsui, Nanao, Matsumoto**

**Description: All the way back to the academy. That's how long he'd recieved them.**

**Warning: Spoilers for the second movie, a little bit of humor, yaoi, MalexMale kiss**

**Rating: K+**

-

_"Oi! Hitsugaya!"_

_Toshiro turned, only to see Kusaka waving and jogging toward him. He dodged a couple arguing, and then two boys just starting a fist fight, and quickly made it to Toshiro's side. The smaller boy blinked up at him. "What?"_

_"Oh, you're always so cool, Hitsugaya-kun," Kusaka teased. "No wonder you can't get yourself a girlfriend."_

_A vein above Toshiro's eye pulsed, and he spun away from his new acquaintance. "Forget it, you're not worth the trouble," he muttered._

_Kusaka stood there for a moment, likely surprised, before running to catch up with Toshiro. "W-wait! Hitsugaya-kun, why the frosty attitude? I was just joking with you." He grabbed Toshiro's shoulder to stop him. "You know, friends do that with each other."_

_Toshiro paused, blinked and looked up at the older man. "Friends...?" His brow furrowed. "Why didn't__** I**__ hear about this developement?"_

_Kusaka laughed sheepishly. "Wow... I didn't know... That you were so mean." He grinned. "But aren't we? Friends, I mean."_

_Toshiro tipped his head to the side, considering. Then he sighed. "Only when you're not annoying me."_

_Kusaka's eyes widened, and he watched in bemusement as Toshiro walked away._

-

"Taicho?"

Hitsugaya covered the start his vice captain had caused by spinning around in his seat and sliding off of it. "What?" he demanded.

"Ne, Taicho's so mean!" Matsumoto gushed. "And here I thought I'd just deliver Ukitake taicho's package-"

"It's probably candy, throw it out," Hitsugaya interjected.

Matsumoto nearly gaped at him. "Geez... Taicho, what's with the attitude?"

Hitsugaya studied her, his eyes narrowing. Her past two statements had sounded way too familiar, taking into account the memory he'd just been thinking about. "Your paperwork's on your desk."

She pouted. "But, Taicho..."

He walked out, shutting the door on the rest of her complaint. "Do it, Matsumoto," he called through the bamboo sliding door, before shunpo'ing away.

-

_"Am I that annoying?"_

_"You're following me around like a lost puppy, what do you think?"_

_"But! Hitsugaya-kun's my friend, right?"_

_Toshiro turned to glare at Kusaka. "Fine. What do you want?"_

_Kusaka grinned victoriously and held out a brown cloth bag. "I was asked to deliver this."_

_Toshiro blinked. "What? Who's it from?" He took the bag and shook it gingerly. There was a soft sound of foil and wrappers. Candy. Toshiro's eyes narrowed at Kusaka. "Who gave this to you?"_

_Kusaka pressed his lips together thoughtfully. "You know, I have no idea who the elderly gentleman was... He was pretty old-ish-young-ish, though. Long white hair, but a young face, I mean." His eyes traveled upwards to the sky, trying to search his memory. "And I think... Hm... He was wearing a blue yukata, too... It looked pretty expensive, so maybe he's a noble?"_

_Toshiro held out the bag, not bothering to open it. "Throw it out," he ordered. "Do that, and we'll officially be friends."_

_Kusaka grinned. "Okay!"_

_Toshiro did __**not**__ need some pesky noble chasing after him. Ick._

-

"Oh, Hitsugaya-kun," a voice called out from behind him.

Hitsugaya, in the middle of bringing some papers to the first division, blinked in surprise and turned, pulled from his memories for the second time that day. "Kyoraku? What do you want?" he asked, not really caring. He just wanted to get these papers turned in and return to his division before Matsumoto woke up and sneaked out.

Shunsui grinned lazily at him, tipping his hat in greeting. "Just wanted to inquire about your well-being. Is that so bad, Hitsugaya-kun?"

Hitsugaya bit back the urge to tell him yes, it was, and replied with a bit more consideration. "I'm fine. Is that all?"

"Hitsugaya-kun's in a bad mood today, eh?" Shusui stated, a lackadaisical smile crossing his mouth.

"What?" Hitsugaya asked, for some reason struck dumb with the question.

Shunsui held up a box. "Poor Jyuu-chan went to all the trouble of buying this for you, and you instantly throw it away? That's rather mean, isn't it?"

Hitsugaya scowled and shifted the papers to his other hand, snatching the box out of Shunsui's grasp. "Mind your own business, Kyoraku," he snapped, before running- no, walking hurriedly away.

Shunsui chuckled, only to get smacked by a book. "Behave yourself," Nanao ordered.

"Itai... Nanao-chan's so mean..."

-

_"I see you're still getting that candy," Kusaka announced, appearing out of nowhere just as Toshiro was throwing the stuff into the garbage. "Who's been delivering it?"_

_Toshiro glanced at him. "I think he just started leaving it on my doorstep, because that's where I find it twice a week."_

_Kusaka gave him a skeptical look. "Really? That's pretty daring. Maybe he wants to adopt you?"_

_"I don't know, and I don't care," Toshiro muttered. "It's annoying."_

_Kusaka grinned and leaned down, catching Toshiro on the mouth, shocking the smaller boy into stillness. "Okay. Shall we train?" he suggested, as if he hadn't just kissed Toshiro._

_Numbly, Toshiro's head made a move that vaguely resembled a nod, and Kusaka grinned, pulling him along. Once he got his senses back, he growled. "What was __**that**__ for, you idiot?!"_

_Kusaka grinned. "I thought it might get you to agree faster!" he replied, refusing to relinquish his grip on Toshiro's wrist._

_"Why'd you have to __**kiss**__ me, though?"_

_"'Cause I could!" Kusaka laughed._

_Toshiro couldn't help but smile._

-

Hitsugaya absently nibbled on a chocolate bar, annoyed when a shadow fell over him. "Matsumoto, before you start carrying on about how I look 'cute' eating candy, I'm not eating it because I like it," he declared, not bothering to look up at her. "I'm eating it because money was spent on it and it would be a waste to throw it away, so go bother someone else," he stated, then frowned when he realized that this reiatsu wasn't his vice captain's. He looked up, blinking at Ukitake taicho.

The older man was giving him a strange look, head tipped slightly to the side. "I must admit, Hitsugaya-kun," he murmured, even his tone of voice seeming strange, "that, while I'm flattered you'd think I was that young, I by no means have... ahem, assets like that." He arched an amused brow.

Hitsugaya barely refrained from blushing. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I was... thinking."

Ukitake nodded wisely. "So I see." He glanced pointedly at the candy wrappers all over the desk, and the doodle Hitsugaya had been drawing on a piece of scratch paper.

This time, Hitsugaya did blush. "Oh, sorry." He promptly dumped it - rather well-drawn doodle of Kusaka and all - into the trash bin by his desk. "Did you want something?"

Ukitake smiled at him. "Well," he began, "I'm glad to know you'd take my feelings into account, though I was beginning to think you'd always throw them away." He placed another box of candy on the desk. "I thought I'd bring this by, since I saw it and thought of you." He smiled again.

He'd... He'd _thought_ of him? "I... Um, thank you," he muttered, looking down.

"But if you don't like it, then that's fine. I'm sure Shunsui would like to eat it instead," Ukitake continued, reaching out for the box again.

Hitsugaya snatched it up before the older man could. "No, I want it," he replied defensively, then frowned. "I mean, I'd like it very much. Thanks." To prove his point, he pulled out a piece of the chocolate and bit into it, eyes widening in surprise when he found it was filled with something vaguely kiwi-flavored. "This is... good," he muttered, blinking.

Ukitake laughed. "You say that as if it's a surprise, Hitsugaya-kun."

Hitsugaya popped the rest of it into his mouth, chewed and swallowed. "I... I haven't had one with kiwi filling, that's all," he admitted. "As you said, I usually just throw them away." Come to think of it, this pattern seemed awefully familiar. "Um... Uki... Ukitake-san?"

"Jyuushiro, please. And what is it?" he asked, lifting a brow.

"Um..." Hitsugaya closed his mouth, his question suddenly seeming very silly. After all, it couldn't be the same person, right? The other person had alway hidden, while Ukitake had never bothered to hide his identity. "It's just... When I was in the academy... I got candy then too," he muttered, looking up at the other captain to see an expectant look on his face. "Was... Was that you?"

A fond smile crossed Ukitake's face. "Yes, it was," he answered, obviously pleased. "You mean you didn't know? I could have sworn you'd caught me the day of the acceptance ceremony."

Hitsugaya shook his head. "No, I just remembered coming to my new barracks to find some candy on my desk... Which... I threw out."

Ukitake chuckled. "Well, I thought you had, which is why I never bothered to hide myself after that." He shrugged. "Well, I'd should probably get going."

He turned to leave, but Hitsugaya reached out and caught his sleeve. "Would you stay for tea?" he asked, glancing toward the small kitchenette Matsumoto had installed herself for him (and warming her sake, though she said it was for tea). "I could have some made up in a minute."

Ukitake smiled. "Yes, Hitsugaya-kun, I'd like that very much."

"Please," Hitsugaya inserted, standing and heading over to the kitchenette. "It's Toshiro, Jyuushiro."

Ukitake's smile widened. "Of course... Toshiro."

-

**Well, it started out as a past HitsugayaxKusaka, then morphed into Hitsugaya reminiscing, then changed into a present HitsugayaxUkitake, which is the way it stayed. I'd also planned on writing an UkitakexHitsugaya kissing scene right after that kissing scene with Kusaka, but... The way it was written, it was better off without it, since neither are that aggressive(ish). R&R and if you have a pairing/prompt request, lemme know!**


	27. For Him

**27) For Him**

**Pairing/characters: Past AizenxUnohana, Isane, Hanataro, mentions of others**

**Description: She could still remember the way he used to smile.**

**Warning: Angst, spoilers for TBP arc**

**Dedication: Azar-sama, for the prompt. Thanks a bunch!**

**Prompt: Unohana's husband**

**Rating: K+**

-

Retsu stared up at the moon, lost in memories long since banished from her dreams. Once upon a time, she'd known a very kind man. He'd been beautiful in every way, inside and out. They'd even been engaged for a while, but one day... One day, he simply broke it off. Something about how he was sorry, but he didn't want to hurt her.

-

_"Ret- no, Unohana taicho," a voice said behind her._

_She turned, surprised, and smiled at her younger lover. "Sosuke, what are you doing here so-"_

_"I need to speak with you about something," he said, frowning ever so slightly._

_Retsu nodded curiously. "Okay, let's go into my office, then," she suggested, her smile gentle as she reached out and clasped his hands in her's._

_"No, that... That won't be necessary at all." He shook his head and closed his eyes, face lowered. "I... I can't, Retsu. I'm so very sorry to tell you like this, but..." His eyes rose to meet her own, and her breath caught in her throat, unable to pass by as worry flickered in her gaze. "I don't want you to get hurt." He shook his head, looking confused, broken and dissatisfied with himself. "No, no that's not right...," he muttered, his brow furrowing and lips twisting in displeasure. "I don't... I don't want to __**hurt**__ you. I'm so sorry. We can't go on, this is it." He squeezed her hands, almost desperately and certainly regretfully, before dropping them, his gaze sweeping over her face as if he'd never see it again. "I'm breaking off the engagement."_

_With that, he spun around, nearly seeming to be trying to escape, and she could only stare in shock at his retreating back._

-

At the time, she'd been so confused, so completely torn. All at once, she'd wanted to act rash for a change and charge over to his quarters in the fifth, demand to know what he was talking about, that he just explain himself with more than 'I don't want to hurt you', but at the same time she'd wanted to accept his decision, like she did all other things, and cry by herself once she could go off alone.

She ended up running across the fifth seat of the third division on her way to do the latter, then. Somehow, the girl was able to learn everything about the situation, without so much as asking.

-

_After hastily excusing herself from the division, Retsu rushed through the nearly empty streets, her tears of dismay and pain barely held back by decades of practice doing so. However, despite this, she was distracted, thoughts whirling through her mind - __**does he hate me? Sosuke... Did I do something wrong, Sosuke? Is there something you found out about me that you don't want any part of? What could have made him run away?**__ - and she never saw the small girl round the corner in front of her, causing her to quite literally trip over the poor thing._

_"Go-gomen, Unohana taicho!" the girl gasped, naturally assuming it was her fault._

_"No, no... It's fine. It was my fault, I... I wasn't paying attention when I should have been, do forgive me."_

_The girl gaped at her. "Oh, no! It wasn't your fault, Unohana taicho!" she gasped. "It was mine! I-"_

_Retsu smiled at the girl, despite her sadness over Sosuke. "Please, tell me your name."_

_"Oh, I'm Kotetsu Isane, Unohana taicho," she said politely, smiling back shyly._

_The older woman sighed, closing her eyes and helping the girl to her feet. "I really do apologize. It's just... I've had a bit of a bad night," she admitted, looking down at the shorter girl. Isane stared up at her, open curiosity on her face. That, coupled with obvious sympathy, proved to be her undoing, and before she knew it, Retsu found herself telling the girl all about her heartbreak, from their first meeting when he'd become a vice captain, to earlier that night, when he'd broken off their engagement._

_Isane listened quietly, a silent, understanding presence at Retsu's side, and then, much to the captain's surprise, she cried for her, just as soon as her tale was told._

-

Unohana smiled. "Isane," she murmured, sensing the other woman's reiatsu.

"T-taicho?" the Kotetsu fukutaicho inquired, coming out from where she'd ducked to after seeing her captain sitting there, seemingly watching the stars. The look in her eyes had been so achingly familiar that Isane hadn't wanted to disturb her, pushing away her own silly phobia for another time.

"Was it that dream again?" Retsu asked, patting the porch beside her.

Ashamed, Isane nodded. "H-hai, taicho," she admitted, looking down and fiddling with her fingers, remaining where she was. She was already feeling guilty for interrupting her captain's musings, she didn't want to make any more of a nuisance of herself.

Hanataro, who'd dozed off in the corner after finishing his duties, stirred at their talking, mumbling something undiscernable. Retsu smiled and beckoned them both to her side. "Sit with me?" she asked, shooting Isane a quizzical look.

"H-hai, taicho," they chorused, and took a seat on either side of her, though Hanataro wasn't quite sure what was going on.

Isane smiled slightly at her captain, unable to keep any sort of negative emotion while around the gentle woman. At least not for long. "Are you doing well, taicho?" she asked, beaming up at the older woman. She noticed that, while she was taller than her captain, she appeared shorter while they were seated. It was an oddly idle thought for Isane, but she pushed it aside as trivial.

Retsu nodded, chuckling slightly. "Of course. I was just... musing," she answered, a note in her voice almost whistful.

Isane's eyes widened, though poor Hanataro looked confused. "About him?" the vice captain asked, her brow knitting worriedly.

"About who?" Hanataro added right afterward.

Letting out a faint sigh, Unohana gazed quietly up at the moon for a moment, debating on whether she should say anything. She didn't want to worry her fukutaicho any more than necessary, after all. "Hanataro," she murmured, choosing the question that would have an answer suited for both queries. "I want to tell you a story about a man." She smiled fondly, tilting her face back down as her eyes slid shut. "I can still remember the way he used to smile..."

-

**Wow! This came out quite well, actually. XD I went over it numerous times, so... XD Over all, I'm quite pleased with the result. Review and Request! XD**


	28. Strong

**28) Strong**

**Pairing/characters: HanatarouxKira**

**Description: It was okay if no one else knew, as long as they did.**

**Warning: Slight angst, spoilers for SRT arc**

**Dedication: Draco-sama, for the pairing/prompt. Thanks a bunch!**

**Prompt: The Strength no one sees**

**Rating: K+**

-

As Izuru-chan pours them some tea, Hanataro can't help but marvel at the inherent grace his lover exudes, even while executing the most mundane of tasks. Kira pours the tea, eyelids lowered as he watches what he's doing carefully, and chats idly about his day at work and how silly everyone was being. He can't help it if they think he's grieving, but really, he doesn't blame them and neither does Hanataro. No one knows that they have each other, and that's okay.

Hanataro smiles as Izuru tells one particular story, motioning to the proof draped on a peg by the door; a scarf, courtesy of Hisagi-senpai. He tells his lover that it looks rather lovely, and Izuru-chan offers to ask Hisagi-senpai to make one for Hanataro. But no, Hanataro doesn't need one.

He takes up the freshly made tea and sips it, smiling across the table at his lover, who smiles back, and he comments that Izuru-chan is doing remarkably well in his captain's absence. Even though the man betrayed him, he's doing just fine, being so strong, even though no one seems to notice. Izuru smiles at this and tells Hanataro that he's glad at least his lover noticed.

So, as Izuru-chan leans forward, his lips meeting Hanataro's lovingly, Hanataro can't help but think that it's okay if no one else knows, as long as they do.

-

**This was surprisingly short and sweet, if I do say so myself. Thanks again to Draco-sama for the prompt/pairing. XD R&R and if you have a request pairing/prompt, lemme know and I'll do my best to fulfill it!**


	29. Ice Cream

**29) Ice Cream**

**Pairing/characters: OrihimexMatsumoto, Ichigo, Renji, Hitsugaya**

**Description: It was a sticky situation. Yes... A very sticky situation indeed.**

**Warning: Yuri, voyeurism**

**Dedication: Di-chan!**

**Rating: M**

xXx

The three just sort of stood there, staring. Gaping, more like. Before them was a sticky, sweaty, sweet mess of icecream and female. As Matsumoto crawled over Orihime, licking and biting and kissing as she went, neither seemed to notice their sudden audience.

Ichigo couldn't stop staring.

Renji was currently trying to hide a boner.

Hitsugaya... was momentarily at a loss for words.

"N-no, that... ooh... ah... R-Ran...gi...ku," Orihime moaned.

Renji abruptly turned around and left to go find a shower. No one noticed his departure. Hitsugaya opened his mouth to say something, anything, but all that came out was a mortified squeak. It almost distracted Ichigo, except that Rangiku chose that moment to slide her finger inside Orihime's vagina. Brown eyes widened and his face turned red. It was uncertain whether he looked like he wanted to scream or faint.

Orihime writhed, arching her hips and moaning Matsumoto's name over and over, almost desperately. Like a plea for more.

Hitsugaya squeaked again. Ichigo's eyes rolled up into his head and he hit the ground with a thud.

The two girls froze, Orihime panting, Matsumoto wide-eyed. Slowly, they both looked over.

Neither noticed Ichigo on the floor, but Hitsugaya...

"Ooh! Taicho! Did you wanna join us?" Matsumoto asked sweetly.

He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again... and squeaked.

"Ne, Taicho, are you suggesting role play? You could be a mouse!"

Abruptly, he spun on his heel, finding his voice. "... let me know when you're finished," he said before vanishing.

Then Matsumoto noticed Ichigo. "Oooh. Oops."

xXx

**Hey, look! It's my Bleach muse! Funny that...**


	30. War Drums

**30) War Drums**

**Pairing/character: Aizen, Ulquiorra, Ichigo, Gin, Halibel, etc (entire fake Karakura cast)**

**Description: Count the bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums.**

**Warning: Songfic, gore, macabre content, spoilers for Fake Karakura and Turn Back the Pendulum arcs**

**Rating: M (for gore and macabre themes)**

xXx

_Don't fret precious, I'm here..._

Aizen raised his reiatsu just enough to inform his Espada that he knew their every move. Ah. Baragan's fraccion had just been defeated, by Yamamoto no less. Over there, Stark and Shunsui weren't really trying, though Aizen suspected it had something to do with Lilinet, who was currently trying to egg on Ukitake. He should have forewarned her that the attempt would be wasted. The most he'd do would be placing a binding kido on her to cease her attempts at drawing him into a fight.

Aizen chuckled. This was proving to be rather interesting...

_Step away from the window... and go back to sleep..._

Stark jolted a bit with the sudden reminder that Aizen was still here. Man, he wanted a nap. Unfortunately, this Shunsui guy didn't look like he was going to allow it. Too bad, too. He didn't want to have to kill anybody; it was a waste of breath and nap-time. It was always so difficult to kill people, which is why he normally forewent it in favor of some sleep.

He was beginning to notice a pattern, not that it would change anything.

Another raise in reiatsu from Aizen sent him stumbling, even though he was so far away. Shunsui kindly waited for him to regain his footing before trying to kill him again.

_Lay your head down child, I won't let the Boogeyman come..._

Orihime cried. "HELP ME, KUROSAKI-KUN!" she screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes snapped open and Ulquiorra whirled around, batting away an attack from Ishida, even as Ichigo seemingly rose from the dead.

Ulquiorra's eyes were wide in shock. Ichigo's hair was growing longer, and he was growling. He straightened completely, his gaze locking on Orihime, and for a moment, she wondered if he'd simply hollowfied. Then, "... Inoue..."

His gaze slowly traveled upwards, and then he was suddenly behind Ulquiorra, his sword piercing flesh as a fierce war cry was torn from his throat. Blood flew through the air in a macabre show of ruby beauty, and Orihime felt sick.

_Count their bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums..._

Gin was grinning, counting each time a shinigami fell, whether they rose again or not. He even counted the fallen arrancar. He tsked. "Such a shame, Aizen taicho," he commented, earning a raised brow from his lord, silently beckoning him to go on. "We don' get ta help," he clarified.

Aizen chuckled. "Indeed. But we will have our chance to shine, Gin, fear not."

Tosen sniffed. "As long as justice is served, it matters not."

"We know," the other two chorused, rolling their eyes.

_Pay no mind to the rabble, pay no mind to the rabble..._

Ishida stared up as Kurosaki beat the ever living shit out of Ulquiorra, even as Inoue healed him. Soon enough, his arm was restored, and the pain was fading away. How scary. All it had taken was Orihime's distress, and Kurosaki had risen from the dead. What sort of shinigami _was_ he?

"Kurosaki-kun will win..." Orihime murmured, looking down. Her voice didn't sound confident- _It sounded terrified..._

_Head down, go to sleep to the rhythm of the war drums..._

Hitsugaya parried another one of Halibel's attacks, breathing heavily. He had scrapes and scratches all over his body, slowing him down, but he simply used his ice to stop the flow of blood and carried on.

"Your body is covered in mostly ice, shinigami captain," Halibel pointed out softly.

"I know," he replied. Ice zanpakuto. Duh.

She glared at him for his belligerent tone and swung her sword again, the blade knicking his arm and sending blood flying like raindrops. "Just die, Aisu-oji," she hissed, striking again and again. Finally, her sword met flesh, but only at the same time as his.

_Pay no mind to what other voices say, they don't care about you, like I do (like I do)..._

Rangiku's side burned and pulsed. She felt as if someone had ripped the very organs out of her chest, and then she felt kido, and realized that someone _had_ ripped the organs out. When she opened her eyes, a pale blue gaze flickered to her face for half a second before he continued with what he was doing.

"K-Kira? What... happened?" she gasped out, barely able to breathe.

"A monster," he answered. "Please hang on, Rangiku-san. I'm almost finished."

She looked around. "What happened to the monster?" she wondered aloud.

"Yamamoto-sotaicho dispatched it," Hisagi answered, hovering nearby and doing his best to heal Hinamori.

Rangiku's eyes widened and she searched for him, finally finding him, standing a few yards away, glaring imperiously at the people before him. "Yama... moto... so... taicho," she panted, gritting her teeth as the burn of her organs rebuilding suddenly became more intense.

_Safe from pain, and truth, and choice..., and other poison devils..._

Ulquiorra gritted his teeth, his face pressed against the dirt, his periphereal gaze focused on the... _thing_ pointing a cero at his head. Somehow, though, the Quincy managed to divert Kurosaki's attention long enough to spare his life. As Kurosaki turned his attack on the Quincy, Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed. _Now was his chance!_ And he leaped.

_"Do you fear me, woman?"_

_"... I don't fear you..."_

_"Oh..."_

But instead, when all was said and done... He faded.

_See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do..._

xXx

**There are major spoilers in this. Like, seriously. Some parts I did make up, and others I didn't. Some dialogue and all characters belong to Kubo Tite-san. R&R and if you have a pairing/prompt request, lemme know! XD**


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